Help Me

Chapter 2 : The Lad Who Talked

After practice, Sammy drove me home but I decided to walk down to the lake at the back of the neighborhood. I always came here to clear my mind and think about other things that make me happy. I’ll end up remembering the memories I had with my family before all of this happened; the cutting and the throwing up. I could actually rethink things and wish that things actually went back to normal. But sometimes wishes doesn’t come true. I always cry at night wishing that I’ll have my old life back and also the old me back. But once again, wishes never come true. Even when you blow out your candles and wish on a star, nothing will come true. Trust me I tried. I even tried praying, but for some reason, God never answered my prayer. So I’m stuck in this life, wondering when I will get out. Sometimes I always think, why can I just end it. Right here, right now. I think that everyday.

One time I had a gun pointed inside my mouth while I was locked inside my bedroom. I cried the whole time, saying why I should just pull the trigger. But then I heard Regan knocking my door and I hid the gun under my bed. I would’ve been dead if it wasn’t for the timing of my sister. Timing saved me. But time can also stop if I decided to let it. And one day, that might happen.

“Can I sit here?” I startled out of my thoughts and looked up from the rocky ground. There stood Harry Styles, looking down at me with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. He had the brown sweater, black skinny jeans, and brown beanie on his head, the most attractive outfit I like on a lad. But I played it cool and turned back around shrugging my shoulders. “It’s a free country,” I said.

I heard his movement against the rocks and noticed he was at least three feet away from him. For some reason I was beginning to become uncomfortable sitting next to him. I scooted over a little bit, trying not to make a sound. This was kind of better when I was alone, now it’s getting kinda awkward.

“If you’re looking for Regan, this is not the girl,” I said. He was probably thinking that I was her for a moment until he gotten a closer look at me. Regan was much fuller and tan. She had hips and fake breast while I had skinny arms and legs and looked pale. I wasn’t the beautiful Regan like everyone expects twins to be.

“No, I’m not looking for her. I just like coming here, that’s all,” Harry said. I took a sigh and nodded my head slowly. I really wanted to just get up and run, then hide. This was so fucking awkward. Why am I even still sitting here? “I’m Harry,” he said.

I looked at him and he was stretching out his hand, waiting for a handshake.

“I’m Alisa,” I said. When I didn’t take his hand, he put his arm back awkwardly and then turned back forward and I did the same. It was quiet once again and I actually just want to get up and leave. I took out another sigh and quickly gotten up from the ground. I began walking until Harry called out my name. I turned back around slowly.

“Are you going home?” he asked. I frowned at him.

“Yes?” I said, almost question like. “Why?” I asked.

“Let me take you home,” he said, standing up from the ground. I shook my head.

“Um no. You don’t even know me and you think it’s a good idea to walk with me?” I said.

“I know you are a twin, your name is Alisa, and you dance. Based on the tights and shorts and slippers I mean,” Harry said. “And plus it’s like I’m going home sense we do live by each other,” Harry said again.

I took out a huff. I don’t want to walk with Harry or even talk to the lad. He only knows three things about me and I don’t know jack-shit about him. Why don’t I just turn around and run back to my flat. But I’m guessing that’ll be weird and he’ll think I’m a fucking freak. Well hell, let him. But that’ll be a little weird if I can say so myself.