Help Me

Chapter 9 : Motherly Words

Liam parked the car on the front yard and then I unbuckled my seat belt.

“Thanks Liam,” I said, opening the car door. Then I took out a sigh and looked back at Liam. “And if you see Harry again, tell him I never want to see him again,” I said, stepping out of the car and closing it behind me.

I walked around the car, tears already streaming down my face. I walked onto the yard, heading towards the front door. The pictures kept popping up in my head and I shook my head to wipe away the memory. But it just stuck there. Once I gotten to the front door, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a key, unlocking the door. Once it opened, I stepped in, closing it behind me quietly. Before I came into the flat, I didn’t see Dad’s car in the driveway, so that’s kind of a good thing.

I ran up stairs and went into the toilet, closing the door behind me. I turned the light on and looked at me. I gotten all dressed for this asshole so he could finally noticed me, but I was wrong. I screamed out loud, wiping items around the sink towards the floor. I looked under the sink and took out an eyebrow razor. I stood up and looked at the mirror.

Put it down Alisa. You promised you were going to stop.

I shook my head. I put the razor towards my left arm and then stared at myself in the mirror. One cut. I hardly winced. Two cuts. Three cuts. Blood was beginning to drip down my arm. Four cuts, five. Blood was passing down my hand and onto the floor. Six cuts, seven. More blood. I then put the razor in my left hand, aiming it down towards my right arm. One cut, two. Three cuts, four. Five cuts, six. Seven cuts. More blood. I dropped the razor on the floor and then stared at my arms in the mirror. Blood was dripping down on both arms and I dared not to look at the floor.

Then my phone started to ring in my pocket. I slid it out from my left back pocket and saw that Regan was calling. So much anger piled inside me. I shook my head and threw my phone towards the mirror, shards of glass spilling everywhere. Then the door opened and I turned to see Mum standing there, looking at the scene. Her eyes were filled with worry and she reached for my hand, leading me out of the toilet.

Moments later, I was sitting on top of the counter and watching Mum wrapping white bandages around my wrist. I just watched her in silence and I heard Mum sniffing. She was crying. I then took out a sigh and Mum looked up at me, her eyes red.

“Why Alisa? I thought we’ve gone through this,” Mum said. I didn’t say a word. “You are a gift from God and you are destroying his work. Do you realize that?” Mum asked.

“Now you care about me Mum,” I said.

“I always had,” Mum said. I shook my head, avoiding to roll my eyes.

“You would always say horrible things about me. You would slap me and push me down when I was little. You were so horrible towards me,” I said. My words were sharp and I was hoping Mum gotten the message.

“I cared about you Alisa. I cried every night about you,” Mum said.

“Yeah and then you’ll do some harsh shit to me the next day,” I said. Mum just stared at me. At this point I thought she was going to slap me across my face. But oddly, she didn’t. Mum took out a sigh.

“Why are you so dressed up?” Mum asked.

“Regan and I went to a party. I gotten mad and I left. Catched a ride home,” I said. Mum shook her head.

“Where’s Regan?” Mum asked.

“Still at the party,” I said. Or probably on her way home, based on the call she sent me.

“Listen. I’m saying this as your Mother. You need to stop. Stop cutting yourself every time you are mad or sadden about something,” Mum said.