What the signs need:
Aries: A bottle of Vodka
Taurus: A sugar daddy
Gemini: Some dick tbh
Cancer: Fuckboy repellent
Leo: To go on a shopping spree
Virgo: A blunt
Libra: A puppy and kitty
Scorpio: To drop out of school and become a stripper
Sagittarius: Two bottles of Vodka
Capricorn: Their school to burn down
Aquarius: Their school to burn down
Pisces: Better friends
