More Than Just A Bonny Face (Rewriting)

The Pests

     If I told you I was from Berk, you would have a lot of questions.

     Where is Berk? It's twelve days north of Hopeless, and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. Yeah, I don't like it here. It's hard to live on a small island without descending into insanity.

     Am I Scottish? I have never heard of that. Berk is 1 out of the 70 islands in the Barbaric Archipelago. In short words, it's cold.

     Who am I? Well, I'm Boniface Meribeth Haddock. It's a silly name, I know. It's not as bad as my brother's name; Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. Parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls but trust me, it suits him.

     "Pssstt!"

     That would be him now.

     "Meribeth!"

     "Hiccup..." I groan as I slowly sit up from my uncomfortable bunk bed. Hiccup is on his knees next to my bed. "What do you want?"

     "Something's going on outside," He whispers to me, fear evident in his voice.

     "Why are you telling me?" I yawn, and I don't hide it. Why should I? I'm tired and the wimp woke me up because he's scared of something outside. "Go find Dad."

     "He's not here." Hiccup shakes my leg, which is his way of begging me to get out of bed.

     I groan. Loudly. In annoyance. As a warning. No, as a threat. "Another special day in Berk." I pull out my bow and stack of arrows from under my bed and start to head to the first floor of the house.

     I hear yelling. Not fearful hells, but war cries. And a whole lot of destruction from our village. It's a sturdy place (having only been around for 7 generations) with a lot of activities like fishing and hunting, and a charming view of the sunset.

     "What in the blazes is going on?"
I hear Hiccup gulp loudly from behind me. I reach out for the door handle and turn it, slowly. I count to 3 and swing it open.

     "Oh no."

     The biggest problem we have are the pests. Most places have mice or mosquitoes.

     "And we have—" A Monstrous Nightmare spots me and Hiccup in the doorway to our house and it fires out its fire gel breath at us.

     Hiccup slams the door shut. "Dragons."

     I watch the fire creep into our wooden house. "You can't wait here for Dad, let's go." I drag my brother out of the house, trying to avoid our tribe as they defend our village from the dragons again.

     Most people would leave, but we're not people. We are Vikings. We have stubbornness issues. And as far as we're concerned, every other island is inhabited by other tribes or dangerous creatures. Our island just so happens to have sheep, and the dragons live for sheep. We still have no idea where they come from or where they go. That's why my main duty is to protect Hiccup while Dad helps me save as many sheep, houses and villagers as possible.

     "What are you doing here?!"

     "Get inside!"

     "What are you doin' out?"

     "Get back inside!"

     See? Hiccup can not be allowed outside, but it's how I stop him from doing something unbelievably stupid.

     "Boniface!? Hiccup?!" Recognisable hands pull us towards a very recognisable voice as a dragon swoops down and leaves a trail of fire that we almost run into. "What is he doing out aga— What are you doing out?! Get inside!"