I do love you // Jungkook x depressed! reader

Blood

Unlike the large, bright house of the Jeons, my small, dark, and messy house was much less than welcoming. The only thing welcoming was the blood that dripped down my thigh each night. The blade that ripped my delicate skin. That was my home. Not the place that had no happy memories. The place that still reeked of alcohol and was decorated with shattered picture frames. The house that had blood stains on the living room floor from when my mom beat me. Each night I couldn't sleep, I'd write a new suicide note and practice nooses. I'd plan out my suicide and act it out. By sunrise I was already on my way to the Jeon house with no sleep to rely on.
Mrs. Jeon would welcome me each morning and she'd smile by seeing my thin face. Jungkook would glare at me for no reason, but I'd do my best to ignore him. One day, Mrs. Jeon welcomed me into their house and guided me toward her bathroom. She showed me all her makeup and told me, as a young lady, I'm allowed to all of it. I declined but she pressed it on me. I guessed it was because of the fact that I was so disgusting to look at so that night I walked home with a bag full of makeup.
The next morning I woke up early and applied some makeup to hide my fatigue. I plucked my eyebrows and set off into the warm early morning. I knocked on the door and it was opened by Jungkook, who immediately sneered. He had messy hair and wore a large white shirt and black boxers so I guessed he just woke up. I expected to see Mrs. Jeon so I tensed up by the sight of him. He took a long look at my face before he stepped aside letting me in.
"No one else is home today. Dad-erm-Mr. Jeon is on a business trip and Mrs. Jeon is out for breakfast with friends." I turned and nodded at his statement. He kept staring at me before saying "Why do you where sleeves in this weather? It's warm enough to wear short sleeves."
This was the most interaction I've had with Jungkook so I was especially tense. When I didn't answer right away, he scoffed and muttered "retard." I whispered that I was comfortable in my long sleeves and walked up the stairs toward the kitchen.
I took a good look at Jungkook's face and saw how he still looked tired and his face showed that he hadn't had breakfast. Chances are this boy doesn't know how to cook. "Have you eaten yet?" I asked him entering the kitchen. He shook his head, trailing after me with a bored look on his face. I started to cook breakfast with him staring at me. I turned to look him in the face and asked "What?"
He shook his head and left the kitchen and headed to his bedroom. I continued to cook him scrambled eggs with buttered toast and strips of bacon. I put his breakfast on the table and walked up to his bedroom. I knocked on the door. "Your breakfast is ready." I called through the door.
I walked over to the kitchen and ate a couple of strips of bacon for myself before cleaning up. Jungkook entered the large kitchen wearing dark grey shorts and a light blue button up shirt that was unbuttoned. He sat down and began eating without a thank you. I watched him eat the meal I made and I almost smiled. He always acted as if my meals tasted like trash but now he was eating the whole thing without hesitation.
He looked up and muttered a thank you, a hardly noticeable blush on his cheeks. I nodded with a small smile. He reminded me that he still hated me but he was just hungry. I ignored the comment and took his dishes and washed them, forcing myself to not look at his abs. "You know your sleeves are getting wet, right?" He said with a look of exasperation on his face. He walked up but I pulled my arms away.
"I'm fine. My sleeves will dry." He looked at me suspiciously before turning away. "You're so stupid. God you worthless piece of shit." His words hurt more than normal, but I ignored it and continued washing the dishes. I wanted to cry so bad. But I couldn't. Luckily Mrs. Jeon entered the house and started cheerful conversation. She seemed happy that I put on some of her makeup and I wondered if she thought I was ugly without it. Probably. Everyone does. Jungkook treated me differently because of it.
After the long day I was finally home and Jungkook's awful words drifted into my head. "You're so stupid. You worthless piece of shit." Those were the exact words my mom would shout at me each night she beat me. I haven't heard it since, but now, hearing it again, it brought up an undeniable need to cut. As I drew into my skin with the blade, I thought of Jungkook. He was adorable with massy hair and in, what I guessed were, his pajamas.
But he brought these memories upon me.