The Memory Keeper (Naruto Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty- Shame

Hey, Hi, Hello.

Welcome to chapter twenty. This entire chapter is told from the POVs of Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto. Not Kimi. I hope you enjoy it(: It's not very long. Memories will separate the different POVs. They (the POVs, and the memories) are unmarked for a reason ('cause I want you to figure it out, though it won't be hard to). Sorry if it annoys you. Song is 'Back Home' by Yellowcard, though it doesn't really fit. It was really hard to find a whole song that fit everyone's feelings, so I just chose an excerpt that kind of fit. Oh, and in this story Rin's not dead (plot reasons).

DISCLAIMER: Can I stop doing this now? I don't own Naruto.
WARNINGS: A lot of emo. No, seriously. A lot.

Anything in bold is important or with emphasis.
This is what memories look like.
This is what thoughts look like.
'This is what song lyrics look like.'

Chapter twenty~
--

'Sometimes I miss knowing
someone's there for me.' 

--

   She looks so peaceful. Like a little doll.

   Her black hair fanned out on the pillow around her. She was sleeping quietly, chest moving up and down with her slow, measured breathing. My heart aches painfully, knowing all that I had done to her and probably would do to her. It was hard to think that she still loved me, to some measure. I was a horrible person for all of my actions. I was a ninja, so it was to be expected to a certain extent. Not all of it. Not the violent moods she was the victim of.

   I sigh softly and stand. I had been sitting on the bed next to her, but now I had to leave. I received a mission to go to the Mist for an assassination. It was solo and I probably would be gone for a month or two, depending on how long it took to get the actual assassination done and if it went well or not. And I would hopefully be in a good mood when I got back.

--

   She's peaceful.

   Her face is marred with bruises and her body is covered in bandages but she still retains her doll-like elegance and grace. If it weren't for the slow rise and fall of her chest and the beeping of the machine hooked up to her, I would think she was dead. The fight with Dosu, both in the forest and the prelims, really took a toll on her. She wasn't in the best condition even before that, because of the intense mental stress pushed upon her. I wanted to protect her, to keep her from harm's way and to be what she needed.

   And I had failed miserably. In all possible ways, I failed her.

   I had one simple goal. Be a good sensei. I managed to screw up my single most important goal. I manage to mess everything up, like Obito's death and when Minato-sensei died. I wasn't there for Rin like I should have been, and I certainly wasn't there when she almost died. Because she couldn't stand to be around me after what happened to Obito. I messed up, he paid the consequence, and she realized me for who I was. I could have done better, could've worked harder and been there.

   I lean back in my chair, pressing a hand to my forehead. I feel disappointment and shame crash over me. I rub my temple, feeling the impending headache. I squeeze my eyes shut, thinking of my past. Obito and Rin. Minato-sensei. My father. All gone, all passed on. My chest aches at the thoughts brought up. I needed to stay alert, to try and redeem myself; I figured if I started doing good enough, it would count for something when I passed on.

--

   "You're not who I thought you'd be."

   The voice is soft, but the words aren't. I flinch at hearing her say these words. I suppose this is a small portion of what my father felt; he was revered in the village, but then he fell from grace because of what he did. It was a miracle he lasted as long as he did. "I know," I whisper brokenly, swallowing hard.