Make Me Fall (ON HOLD)

Five: Good Night

COLUMBUS

In your existence you will always meet someone who's hardheaded. But of course, you could surrender and give in or just be a little bit hardheaded than that person. 

She rolled her eyes on me the moment our eyes met again. She's sitting in front of me. Nandito kami sa jeep papunta sakanila. Ayaw niya talagang magpahatid pero mapilit ako. Kaya ayun, napilit ko siya. Besides hindi naman ako papasok sa bahay nila. At kahit sa tapat nga ng bahay nila hindi ako lalapit eh. Hell no! 

"Para!" nagulat ako sa biglang pagpara niya. Pero mas nagulat ako pagbaba ko ng jeep kasi nasa tapat kami ng subdivision na tinitirhan ko. 

"Okay na ako dito. Salamat sa paghatid." Tinalikuran niya ako at nagsimulang maglakad papasok sa gate ng subdivision. Dito siya nakatira? 

Biruin mo nga naman no? Nasa iisang subdivision lang pala kami? But I bet she doesn't even know that thing. Kakalipat ko lang noong isang araw. Isa pa, medyo malaki din tong subdivision na to kaya malabong malaman niya na taga dito ako. 

I won't let her know. 

Inantay ko munang mawala siya sa paningin ko bago ako pumasok. I don't want her to know that I live here too. I just don't want to. Wala din naman akong balak ma makipag kaibigan sakanya. I am better alone. I prefer it too. 

Ibinagsak ko ang katawan ko sa couch. Bigla kong naramdaman ang pagod. Ang bigat na ng katawan ko. But I need to prepare dinner dahil hindi pa ako naghahapunan. Kape palang ang natake ko ngayong gabi. Sinubukan kong bumangon pero bigat na bigat talaga ako sa katawan ko. 

I'll sleep for a while. Mamaya na ako magluluto kapag nakapag pahinga na ako. I need rest. Bakit ganito yung bigat ng katawan ko? Wala namang masyadong ginawa sa school kanina ah. Siguro napagod ako kakahintay dun sa babae na yun! 

"Ayaw ko na. I don't want this...us anymore." I looked at her trying to figure out what's running in her head right now. But I can't read her.

"Why? Why so sudden?" It took me a moment before I could ask that to her. Nahirapan akong lunukin ang namumuong bukol sa lalamunan ko dahil sa sinabi niya.

Wala akong natanggap na sagot mula sakanya. She remained silent and didn't bother to look at me. I chuckled when a thought came into my mind.

"Is there someone else?" I don't know where that came from. But I cannot think of any other reason para makipaghiwalay siya sa akin. 

Again, I got no answer from her. I will take that as a yes. The mere fact that she can't answer my question simply means that somehow the answer is yes. I think that's enough already for me to comprehend about this break up.

"Thank you." I left her before a tear could totally sneaked out of my eye.

Napamulat ako matapos ang panaginip na yon. Bakit hanggang ngayon napapanaginipan ko pa rin yun? Hanggang kelan ko kailangan na mapanaginipan ang isang bagay na hindi naman kapana-panaginip? I'm staring at the ceiling when I heard my stomach growled.

Hindi pa nga pala ako kumakain. Tinignan ko ang relo ko para alamin ang oras. It's almost eleven. Ilang oras ba akong nakatulog? Hindi ko rin alam kung anong oras ako nakarating dito sa bahay.

Tinatamad akong magluto kaya naman naisipan kong pumunta nalang sa convenience store. I changed my clothes and wore a plain shirt and tailored shorts. Good thing is that may nakita akong convenience store kanina dito sa loob ng subdivision.

In the end I got a cup noodles and sandwich. I went to the counter to pay for it. But a familiar face surprised me. She's standing in front of the counter wearing a black jacket on top of her uniform.

"Ninety pesos po lahat sir." She said after punching all my orders. I saw how her eyes turned big when she lifted her face to look at me, the customer.

I did not react at all even though I was bit surprised too seeing her here. I fished my wallet inside my back pocket and handed a hundred peso bill to her. I left the counter the moment she handed me the change.

I have decided to eat my food here so that I can go straight to bed later. Good thing is that I wore a hoodie. Mabilis kasi akong lamigin. Ngayon nga, kahit nakajacket na ako ay ramdam ko oa rin ang lamig dito sa loob ng convenience store.

Shit! I hit my chest when I got choked because of the sandwich. I forgot to buy some drinks. I was about to stand to get some water when someone placed a bottled water in my table.

"Sabi ko na mabubulunan ka eh." Saad niya at umupo sa katabing upuan.

Nagpasalamat ako matapos ko g uminom. Wala kasi sa plano ko na dito kumain kaya hindi ako bumili ng tubig. Late ko na napag desisyunan na dito kumain. I should have brought some bottled water before I started eating. Damn it!

"Yan ang dinner mo?" She asked while I'm eating the cup noodles. Hindi ko siya pinansin at nagpatuloy lang sa pagkain.

Hindi kami close para magkwentuhan. Hindi rin dahil hinatid ko siya ay ibig sabihin magkaibigan na kami. We are just classmates. No more, no less.

"How much is that water?" I asked and I took out my wallet to get some money.

"Treat ko yon." Sagot niya na naging dahilan para tapunan ko siya ng tingin.

May bag na nakapatong sa lamesa at malamang ay sakanya iyon. I think she's done with her work and bout to go home. Kung ganun, bakit di pa siya umuuwi? Bat nakatambay pa siya dito?

"Thanks then." Tumayo ako at tinalikuran siya. Itinapon ko ang pinagkainan ko bago ako tuluyang lumabas ng convenience store.

Alam ko na nasa likuran ko siya. Naririnig ko yung yabang ng paa niya at ramdam ko rin ang presensya niya. But I chose to ignore it and pretend like I don't know that she's behind me. Wala akong planong makipagkaibigan sakanya and I want her to know that so I am keeping my distance.

"Good night." I stopped when she said that. But when I turned around to face her, she was no longer there.