I'm Not Okay

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A week passed and we were only seven days away from Finn leaving. Nothing eventful really happened. I was just coming and going from my "Wicked" rehearsals everyday and Allen was slowly getting bigger. We have this tradition, where on the 13th of every month we go out to eat because we met on the 13th of March in 2009. Finn decided to take me to one of my favorite restaurants: Sardies. After dropping Allen off at Uncle Kurt's house, we drove over to Sardies. Normally we laugh and talk the way to the restaurant, but that night, nobody said a word. When we got to the restaurant and told them about our reservation under Hudson-Berry, we got a window table for two. Even after two years of marriage, being the gentlemen he was, he pulled out the chair for me and slid it under the table after I was seated. He placed the napkin on his lap when he sat down and peered out the window, "beautiful view isn't it?" 'This was it," I thought, 'two years of marriage and we officially have nothing to talk about. I knew this would happen eventually, just- just not for another ten years.' "Yes, it is beautiful," I replied. The waitress finally came over, "Good evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?" I ordered a white wine and Finn ordered the same. We continued with little small talk, but in my mind I wanted to ask him about why he really wanted to leave. But I couldn't just ask him randomly, I wanted him to bring it up. So I just patiently waited there, listening to him go on and on about work and Allen, until he suddenly stopped. He looked at me and reached across the table and put his hand on top of mine, "Rachel, are you okay?" 'No, but just say yes' I thought. "No, Finn, I'm not."

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