A Part of Something Special

If You Say So

I was shocked. What could I say. I didn't want him to go either, but I knew, as well as he, that he had to. "Wha- excuse me?" I stuttered. "I can't leave him," he said looking down, at Allen. "I keep thinking about what six months without him will be like and I-," he was getting frustrated. He started babbling like he always does when he gets confused and apprehensive. So to stop him, I do what I always do. I leaned in and kissed him. He stopped talking and pulled me in a little closer, making the kiss last a few seconds longer than I had planned. "I love you and I don't want to leave you, either of you." I was still speechless. "How about I wait. I wait until Allen is like one or something." "Finn you-" he cut me off. "Look, I know you don't want me to go. And I know Allen doesn't either. And these last two weeks I was crazy to fight you about it. But unfortunately, war will still be going on in," Finn paused to figure out how long it will be until Allen will be a year old, "in eight months." He was talking crazy, I thought. "Finn-" he cut me off and kept talking again. "Dammit Finn, listen to me. We've talked about this a countless amount of times. You know I don't want you to leave. But you've already committed to this. They are expecting you and can't just not go," the telecom called for Flight 78 again. "Listen, you're going. You signed up for this. Its six months and I have spent too many sleepless nights worrying about today. I love you. You know that, but you have to go." I was in tears and so was Finn. "I don't wa-" "I know you don't," I finally got to interrupt him back. "But you're getting on that damn plane." Finn didn't want to fight anymore, and quite frankly, neither did I. So instead of saying anything, Finn picked Allen up out of my arms and cradled him so his head was against his chest. "I love you bud," he looked up at his daddy, "Okay, and I'll be back before you know. Don't say your first words or take your first steps until I get home, alright? I love you." Finn lifted him up and kissed his forehead for a long moment. He then moved Allen into one of his hands and put his other hand on my neck. "I love you, okay. And you'll be alright with Allen. Write me everyday like we always do, okay?" "Mhm," I replied. He rubbed my neck and then pulled me in. We kissed for a while and I could feel the tears coming down both of our faces. "I love you, Rachel." "I love you, too." He handed me Allen and picked up his bag. The telecom beeped on, "last call for flight 78." I held his hand all the way to the door and he handed off his ticket. Then he turned around. "I love you girl," he said with my hand still in his. "I love you more," I said kissing him one last time on the forehead. "If you say so." He let go of my hand and boarded the plane, leaving Allen and I alone at the airport.