A Part of Something Special

Flight 78

When I came down stairs, Finn was holding Allen. I heard him sniffle. I walked up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned around with Allen. He wasn't crying but he looked upset. "You ready to go?" He nodded yes and passed off Allen to me so he could get his bag, hat, and ticket. By the time he got outside, Allen was already in his car seat of our new car. We never had a car but we had to get one when we had a baby. I offered to drive and Finn sat in the passenger seat. With my left hand on the wheel, my right was on my lap. Moments after we hit the street, Finn reached off and held my hand. I moved my thumb up and down, keeping my eyes on the road, hoping to sooth him a little. I kept thinking in my head over and over again, "Breathe. Be strong for Finn. He's the one going." "Rachel," Finn said. "You okay?" I replied. "Yeah." "Then what's up." I said forcing a fake smile. "Never mind," Finn said. This was frustrating to me because he tends to do that a lot - Get my attention and then change his mind about wanting to tell me. We listened to the radio the rest of the way to the airport. When we got there, I got Allen out of his car seat and Finn got his duffle bag from the trunk. The three of us walked in together, I was holding Finn's hand. We went threw all the security and what not and I may or may not have screamed at a few people about checking my four month old. We were early for his flight so I asked if he wanted something to eat and he said no. I brought a blanket so I could feed Allen and that's what I did. With him against my chest, I wrapped a blanket over both of us, so you couldn't even tell I was holding a baby despite the way my hands were positioned and a diaper bag was sitting at the edge of my feet. "First call for flight 78." The telecom beeped on and then off. That was Finn's place. 78. This was it. I didn't even notice until Finn put his hands on me that I was crying. I was actually hysterical. "I don't want you to go," I thought. "Rachel," Finn began to speak, "I think I changed my mind about going."