Honest ━ Peter Parker

FINAL NOTE

When I first read this plot in a plot shop, I was immediately enamored. First, I love Peter Parker and any plot with him as the love interest has me interested. Second, I had never thought of starting off the book with the oc and the love interest already together. Then, I asked for the plot and had the chance to write it.

I started thinking as to why Garrett would want to keep the relationship, more than just his reputation. Then, the answer came; internalized homophobia. He thinks that everything is wrong, him being with Peter is wrong, yet he can't stay away. I wanted to show that struggle and how he started getting over it, the mask falling away as he learned to love himself and accept who he is. That he is a person worthy of love just because he exists and that he doesn't have to earn it. That people should still love him even if he isn't what they want.

This story has changed when I was writing it. Originally, his father wasn't going to be some bad guy, he as just going to the parent who lived vicariously through their child. But as I kept going and Garrett's character developed into one who wanted to impress his parents, I saw that this wasn't the truth; his father is the one who would be disappointed if he was being truthful about who he was. He's the one who pushed the dream of going to Columbia onto Garrett, and he has to be the one who's installed homophobia into his son.

The title 'honest' comes from the song by The Neighbourhood. First off, the song's on the Amazing Spider-Man 2 soundtrack - so it obviously has Spider-Man feels and appeals to that - but then, the line "I hope you find a way, to be yourself someday" really stuck out to me. That's what Peter wants for Garrett; for the boy to be able to accept himself.

But that didn't mean he had to stay with the boy through the course of him accepting himself. It became too much for him and he had to leave, he couldn't stay because the relationship before was too damaging for Peter. While it was slowly helping Garrett accept himself, it was hurting Peter and wasn't healthy. And Garrett accepted that Peter would leave, but it also pushed him into accepting himself because while he knew that Peter would leave that didn't mean he wanted it.

So, Peter never forced Garrett out of the closet, the Lockwood boy made the decision himself. He wanted to be free, he was just scared before, but losing Peter scared him more than everyone finding out about his sexuality. And, as stated in the book, he was just so tired of hiding and not telling anyone. It was a relief when Clayton found out.

I've enjoyed writing this book because it's different from my other ones. I've never had a story so based on the sexuality of a person and helping them accept themselves. I mean, Inside of Me had the conflict of Isaac trying to see himself as something more than a monster but that was still a little different.

Thank you to everyone who has stuck around and read this whole book. Thank you to everyone who has voted and commented on it, thank you to just everyone who was supported this. I love you all so much and I hope you enjoyed this book as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I love you all,
Ellie xx