suicide angel || 5sos, 1d

Seven

A/N: This is a bit of a touchy subject on this chapter, I'm warning you. Also, if i have any spelling errors on the last few chapter or in the future one, please don't comment that I have some. I will edit each chapter one by one when I have time or when I finish this book. Thank you. xx Please read author's note in the ending. It's very important.

Destiny's POV

"So earlier today in the car, when Michael was going to give you a high five... Your sleeve went down and I noticed scratches on your wrist." Zayn said.

I thought nobody noticed them! Damn, I'm so stupid. "What are you talking about? I don't have a-any scratches."

"I saw them. Don't lie to me." he said. I slowly put my arms behind my back. "May I please see your wrists?" He kindly asked. I don't know if I should. I hardly know this guy! I was hesitant about showing him, but for some reason I feel like I can trust him.

I put my arms in front of me and rolled up my sleeves up to my elbow. His eyes widened at the sight of my scars and new cuts. They reached to the beginning of my wrists to the end of where my elbow was but on the other side.

"Why, why do you do this to yourself?" he said, with his voice cracking a bit. "If I do tell you, you would think I'm a freak, even though I am one. Besides, you wouldn't understand". I said, pulling my sleeves down. I felt so ashamed of myself.

He stayed quiet for a few seconds. "I know someone here, in this house who has been through your situation. If I bring him here, will you at least talk to him about it?"

I was actually surprised that somebody in this house has done this, especially a boy. "I-I don't know. You're going to tell everybody and they're gonna want to give me back to the orphanage." I said.

"I won't, only him. So please?" He pleaded. "Fine." I sighed. He nodded and left the room closing the door. Two minutes later, there was a knock on the door. "Come in." I said.

"Hi, Zayn sent me here to talk to you." He said. Wait.. Him? "So you know already? About my wrists?" I asked, ashamed of myself. "Yeah. Listen here babe, I did that shit before. I was bullied a lot for quite a while. They would say 'Ashton sucks.' 'You deserve to die.' Stuff like that. One night, after a horrible day at school, I ran into my restroom and locked myself in there. I was in there for about 3 hours. Then, I did something I'll never forget. I looked through a little drawer that was in the restroom and looked for a razor blade. I slit my wrists a few times. I've been doing it for about 3 years. I stopped though. You know why?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I stopped because of my fans. When I became a member of 5 Seconds of Summer, which includes Michael, Calum and Luke, of course, everything became so much better for me. The fans would tell me how much they love me and how I saved their lives. It touched me, a lot. I stopped for.. almost a year now, I still have some scars though. I cover them with my bracelets. That's why I wear a lot of them." He removed his brackets and showed me his scars. 10 total. I traced them with my little finger.

(A/N: I'm just letting you know, Ashton has self harmed before but has stopped for us, the fans. The events that I had said, like locking himself in the restroom and the total number of scars he had, stuff like that is fiction. Carry on.)

I couldn't help but cry about what happened to him. "Aw don't cry, it's okay." He said hugging me. I flinched and he seemed to noticed and quickly let go.

"I'm better now. Thanks to them and my mates. Now, what's your story?" He asked. I want to tell him but I'm very hesitant about it. Might as well tell him sooner or later, he'll understand anyways.

"When I was about 4 years old, both my parents were very abusive towards me. They kicked me, burned me, slap me, and sometimes stab me. I was hurt so baldy, I ended up in the hospital a few times. When the doctors asked what happened to me, my mom will tell them that I fell down the stairs, or fall off the tree we had in our backyard. My mom threatened me to keep my mouth shut to the doctors." I said.

"One day, I heard screaming coming from my father. I ran down stairs and saw my mother lying on the couch, lifelessly. She died of a drug over dose. Then a few months later, after my mother's death, my father went out and he was completely drunk and angry. He stabbed an innocent man and sexually assaulted a teenage girl about 16 years old. He was sent to prison for the crimes he has committed. He has escaped a few times and tried looking for me, for revenge. He thinks I'm the cause of my mothers death and he wants to.. kill me. I was sent to my aunts house when I was 5 years old to live but it didn't end up very well. She was arrested for selling and using drugs. I had nowhere else to go. The only place left was a all girls orphanage, which was near my aunts house. So I was sent there. When I was 11, I was bullied a lot. For being different, not pretty enough, not skinny enough. I wasn't good enough for them, for anybody. I'm still not." I said, wiping away my tears.

"Girls from the orphanage, that also went to my school, and girls from school, would beat me all the time in the restroom, the halls, and behind the school. I would end up with a bruised or bloody face and bruised ribs. I cried because it reminded of what my parents, mostly my mother did. That's when I started to harm myself. I did it constantly and nobody knew. I had nobody to talk to, I had no friends at all. I was a loser, a nobody. All I was, was a broken girl. I still am. I've tried taking pills, to.. you know, and it wouldn't work. I didn't care if I ended up in heaven or hell, I just wanted to get out of this evil world. I wouldn't let people near me, or even touch me. Only Mrs. Perez because she's the only person I talk to and like. That's why I flinched early when you tried hugging me. Plus I had a bruise on my rib and it hurt like a bitch." I chuckled. I wiped away the tears from my eyes and cheeks.

"I hated myself more than anything, and I still do." I cried more and more into my hands. "It's okay. Don't cry. All that will be over now." He rubbed my back in a comforting way, but this time I didn't flinch. I cried until I had no more water in me.

"Thank you for listening. I really needed that." I smiled. "No problem. You're secret is safe with me." He said, holding his pinky out.

"I won't tell anyone. Okay?"

"Okay."

We wrapped our pinky's together. I giggled and walked to Niall's mirror he had and fixed myself up. I sat next to him after i was done. We talked for about 10 minutes getting to know each other and telling stupid jokes.

"Okay. How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?" he smirked. "Um... I don't know." Before answering, he kept laughing for a whole 2 minutes. "What is it?!?" I said. "Ten-tickles."

We both bursts into laughter. "Oh gosh that's so stupid yet funny." I said. After going back to sanity, I said "Thank you for cheering me up Ashton. It means a lot."and gave him a little hug. "No problem little sis." He said hugging me back. I smiled when he called me little sis. For once I felt like I was needed, I wasn't useless. It doesn't last very long for me though.

Just then the door open, revealing Niall's tall figure. "Woah, woah. What's going on in here?" He said coming to our direction. "N-nothing," I stuttered, letting go of Ashton. Please don't hurt me." I said hiding behind him. "Why would I even hur-"

"When's dinner ready?" He asked changing the subject, I mentally thanked him, so Niall wouldn't question what I had just said. "Right now. Come on." he said. Ashton left the room only leaving us. "We need to talk. Okay?"he whispered. I nodded my head and followed him to the kitchen.

_______

so I updated yay. omfg luKES IS 18 TOMORROW IM NOT OKAY?¿?¿ :-)) I like when y'all comment. It makes me smile (:

If you or know anyone you know suffers from self harm, depression, eating disorder, etc. please get help. I know it's hard to, trust me, I understand because I, myself, have suffered from it too. But I'm better now, and you can be too. You are all beautiful and amazing just the way you are. I'm not perfect, nobody is. That's why life is full of mistakes and not perfection. Please don't give up your life. There's so much to discover and learn in life. People care about you, you're just too blind to see that. If you want to talk, I'm always here. Just send me a message and I'll answer as soon as possible. I love all. xx

second account: {ziall5SOS}