Fake Love - Kevin Khatchadourian (Ezra Miller)

10

"Mommy, when will dinner be finished? I want to go hang out with the neighbor" I pouted turning my head to hers. She stared at me from the kitchen and continued chopping up the vegetables. I grabbed a pillow from the couch and placed it on my lap.

"Mommy, respond to me" My eyes never left her body. She placed the chopped mixture into a small pot and finally stared at me. When will she understand that her cooking has never gotten better.

"Irene, you're going to eat soon. Forget about that boy for a second, would you" she exhaled pinching her arm. I had the same habit, except my nails left marks behind. Her's didn't.

"Mother, Kevin isn't forgettable" my hand squeezed the decoration pillow. "Kevin's like your first kiss. Or the first time you ever achieved something wonderful in life" I flicked the air after telling her about Kevin. "Kevin's just like that" my hands let the pillow breath and I watched it inflate with life again.

"He's all you talk about, Irene. Please don't do this to yourself again" she sounded disappointed. Her again almost sounded like a whisper. But she was pleading me. Poor mother, she doesn't know what it's like to be loved. Father could never fuck her right. I sometimes wonder if I even am his child. We look so different. We act so differently.

"Do you want me to be happy? Or do you want me to rot inside that group home again? I'll let you decide on this one" I sneered at her. She parted her lips but not a single breath left her lousy mouth. Pathetic.

"Irene, what if he's like the others" she lowered the stove's heat and walked in front the kitchen counter. Her fingers tapped against her thigh uncertainly. She was afraid. Afraid of me. She always was and that didn't affect me in any way.

"Kevin's a good guy. He knows exactly what I want. The other ones didn't live up to my expectations" I answered sitting upright. The sky was a light gray outside. I was excited for the longer days. I could be with Kevin longer and no one could be with him but me.

"Irene" she called out from behind me.

"How extravagant would it be if it was just him and I" I leaned deeper into the couch. He would be all over me. No one else could stop him or me. No one could take his attention away from me. If they did they would end with my sanity and imaginative friends. Those things were no good anyway.

"Sweetheart, that's a corruptive thought" she walked over to the coach. She passed me and I wished I could have those laser eyes I had wished in my 9th birthday. She grabs a pillow and willingly sits on the other side of the coach for me. "He won't stay forever" her hand shook. Her foot tapped against the matted rug.

"Why is it, Mommy? If Kevin was meant for me, why would it be so bad for not sharing it?" My knees scraped against the leather as I made my way to my mother. I laid myself across her lap. My head softly landed on a pillow.

Her hand were too tense. Poor mother, if she only knew the great damage she was doing to herself. I reached for her hand and let it comb through my hair.

"He's amazing" I whispered. My fingers swirled and and swirled along her kneecap. Her fingers never stopped swimming in the pool that was my hair.

"Darling, I don't want to jump to conclusions but" she paused. Her hand got caught on a knot and she pulled. I felt the hair coming off, I didn't mind. It felt nice when Kevin did it, so I thought about him. About his touch. All I ever wanted. "You seem a little too obsessive over him" I sat up straight and got off her.

"I am not obsessed with Kevin" I huffed kicking my leg. Obsessed isn't the right word, Mommy. I'm using him for my own advantage. It's different, caring for him would be too much. It's not Kevin I want but instead his mentality.

I grabbed a pillow and chucked it at her. She can't say that. I knew they wouldn't understand. I grabbed her pillow and hit her blocking hand with it.

"Please, Irene stop" she flinched. Her arms covered her face. I loved it seeing her like this. It proved I was the ruler of the house. I could do and command anything I wanted. The pillow slapped and slapped her arms repeatedly leaving red marks on them.

"Kevin is just everything I was missing. I can't afford to loss him over obsession" I screamed hitting her again. Her hair was everywhere and I knew she was crying. The visible shaking of her chest gave it away.

"Irene, we can go u-upstairs" she cried out covering her face with the inside of her hands. My hand raised over her and slapped her exposed skin. She whimpered and moved away.

"Irene, please. Upstairs there you can get your medication. I'll put on all your favorite songs and you can sway to them" she sobbed. A fistful of her hair was pulled on by me. I didn't think of anything. It was all blank. I couldn't hear her cries anymore.

But then it all got too loud for me. The pillow sat right on the floor. Her sobs grew and she laid on the couch.

"Shut up, you witch!" I told her. She didn't listen to me. When will she learn to never ignore me? The pillow is in between my fingers. I push it up to her covered face. I push harder. I squeeze harder and feel a burning sensation seeing her struggling.

A tingling feeling runs up my legs and into my head making me shiver. I stop. The food was burning and I wanted my promise.

"I'll be upstairs waiting, Mommy" I smiled and walked to the bottom of the stairs. "Also, no dinner tonight" I reminded her taking steps up into my room.