i need you || choni/madnessa

f i f t e e n

madelaine

so it's been a week .. vanessa still hasn't woken up and these new doctors are shady . i was on the elevator going up to see vanessa when i bump into one of travis's friends . i was baffled considering the fact this dude can't even count his money to pay rent so how them hell did he become a doctor ?

"madeleine ?" he called out . "what are you doing here ?" he said as he approached me . he gave me a hug and pressed the floor he was going up to .

"uhh i'm here to see my girlfriend." i said

"who ? you mean vanessa ?" he turned to me . "vanessa and you are dating ?" he turned to me with a seriousness that was bone chilling so i decided to lie .

"no vanessa and i aren't dating— wha— you're hilarious. she's my girl friend you know ... friend that's a girl .." i was honestly a horrible liar . what the hell is wrong with me .

      "oh okay then . well i guess you'll see me here pretty often . i'm her new doctor ." she smiled and walked away .

      there's no way he's her doctor , what the hell he is literally a struggling rapper how the fuck did he get this job with not even a high school diploma ? something is going on .

      i was sitting in the room just watching the monitor . beep beep beep beep . i watched as the line moved in a perfect rhythm going up and down , up and down , over and over again . i pulled out my phone and called lili . she was the only person i knew that wouldn't judge me about anything and i know i needed to talk to someone about this all . i had it bottled up inside me and it isn't good to do that .

      lili met me at starbucks later on that evening and we were just talking and laughing about things that happened of set of the third season .

      "uh lili .. so uh can i talk to you about something serious ?" i looked down at my lap and played with my hands . i was too embarrassed to look her in her eyes . i was ashamed . i must admit .

      "of course . anything . what's up?" she said . a heavy silence fell upon us and started to hold back my tears as hard as i could . "madelaine— you're scaring me ." she got up and sat beside me . she held my hands and made me look up at her .

      "you won't judge me?" i said . a single tear made its way down to my chin and fell on my lap .

      "i promise i won't ." she said . she gave me a small smile for reassurance that i was safe and that i could trust her .

      "i kissed vanessa's sister ." i mumbled . she dropped my hands and her eyes popped .

      "you what ? why ?" she asked in a comforting tone yet serious .

      "i was missing vanessa so much and— and they look basically like twins and i was vulnerable. i just wanted vanessa to hold me but i realized .. she couldn't . i wanted to break down on the inside but celina was there and it just made me think about her so much . my mind was playing games with me and we even recorded it to show vanessa when she woke up . if she—" i started to cry hysterically. the thought of vanessa dying was just — no . this isn't gonna happen . she isn't going to die and i'm going to make sure she doesn't .

      "madelaine ??? mads ?" lili shook me . i guess i had gone off . this was something that started occurring on a normal basis . "madelaine i get it . just fix it okay ? it's still fucked up."

      "okay . and i know . it's really really fucked . i admit but it was just in the moment i guess i just— ugh i don't know. and that's the problem ." lili pulled me into her to comfort me . she rubbed my back and shushed me .

      "no need to explain to me . the best thing to can do is be honest with her when the time comes . okay ?"

      "okay." i didn't know how good of a therapist lili was until just now . i'm so thankful for her . i really am .

****

vanessa

i'm in a coma aren't i ? have been for a while huh ? i knew it . it's like i'm suspended in this darkness that i can't get out of . i'm trapped in my own body . my own mind . i'm aware of everything , i just can't move or talk or just anything and it sucks . i can hear little things but it's just ... weird .

      i hear mads walk in on the phone with someone maybe ? i just wish i could get up and kiss her . i miss her so much and all i want to do is hold my baby and kiss my baby and just be in her tender embrace . i know she misses me . i don't know how she's living . she's literally obsessed with me haha . i want to give her a sign . let her know that i know she's here . let her know that i hear her . but how ?

      i felt her sit on my bed a kiss me on the cheek . she's talking to me but she's barely audible . she held my hand and picked it up . i'm guessing she's crying and she's wiping her tears with my hand . all i can her is her saying kiss over and over again . i kissed — and we kissed .. those are the only words i heard . then i heard her say i'm sorry . but why ? i tried my hardest to show her a sign . i feel like i'm straining but i'm not ? i guess i must've done something because she jumped pretty damn hard to say the least .

      and also . i need you to help me tell madelaine that these people in here are trying to kill me . one nurse almost put poison in my iv until another doctor showed up . someone is after me and i need you to comment and let madeleine know please . she has to help me , but in order for me to stay alive someone has to tell her .

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sorry i haven't been updating , i've been so sick guys . i just recently got out of the hospital and i wrote this chapter and soon as i got home which was like two hours ago . i hope you understand xoxo - keke <3