i need you || choni/madnessa

s i x t e e n

madelaine

i'm slowly losing my mind . i'm going crazy without her . i miss her kisses , i miss her laugh , i miss joking with her , i miss just being in her presence . god i wish you would've taken me than her . she's been through too much in the past few months and if this is what our relationship is going to be then i'd just end it . seems like since i became her girlfriend she's been being hurt and hurting herself . am i the problem ? send help

anyway , i just woke up in the middle of the night . i'm spending the night with vanessa in this hospital and i'm so restless . the chair is so uncomfortable . i got up and got in the bed with her . we're both tiny so it works . whatever . i was finally drifting into a deep sleep until i heard someone close her door . i stayed put to see if i could see who it was but it was pitch black . they got closer and closer to me and they kneeled down next to vanessa's bed and i didn't know what they did until i heard her machine beeping . than horrific , horrendous , long high pitched beed .... that motherfucker pulled her plug . i blacked .

      i jumped out of the bed and grabbed him by his neck . i slung him to the floor and turned the light on . i don't know where the strength came from . i snatched my own wig . pat on the back for cheryl coming through when i need her .

"madelaine what the hell was that?!" he hollered at me holding his neck .

"josh what the hell are YOU doing unplugging my girlfriends lifeline ??" i kicked him in his side . it's travis friend i met on the elevator a while back .

"i'm just a doctor and i'm just doing my job. it's time to let her go kid ." he got up and brushed himself off . "be back in a few ." he said and walked out .

i texted out gc we had and i had told them what happened . celina was in canada , cami was in new york , and cole and lili we're somewhere playing with baby koalas . so it just left me and casey and a few others . i just sat there and cried . i cried my eye balls out guys i must admit . i've never had the thought of losing my girlfriend foreal . i didn't think i would've actually have to live without her . i can't do it .

they arrived a few hours later and found me a hot mess on the floor.

"guys i might as well just kill myself so i can be with her . i can't be here guys i can't do it ."

"no madelaine . stuff like that was only okay in romeo and juliet . it's not cute and it's overrated okay?" casey said . "live for her and let her live through you . you know she'll be there with you at all times . she barely left your side when she was here." he laughed .

"shits not funny dude." jordan said

"god just take me right now please . can you— ." i bursted out in a loud cry . all they did was comfort me . they're boys so they don't know what to do but they do try .

we talked for a couple of hours and after that they left and said they will be back first thing in the morning . somehow i survived until midnight and i was gathering up my things to leave . i don't know how i survived or kept myself together especially since i was here alone . i made my way over to her and tried to say my goodbyes but .. instead i checked her pulse and she had one !! it was faint . but she was alive . i called the nurses in and they hooked her up to the iv and told me to get up and get out . she said they had to give her an electric charge or shock or something so i stood outside the door .

"CLEAR!" one nurse said

"CLEAR!"

"CLEAR!" another said .

i was terrified . but if this was gonna bring her back i couldn't wait .

a nurse came out of the room and looked around . "are you miss petsch?" she asked .

"i am." i said

"go on in . i think there maybe someone in there that's waiting to see you." she patted me on the back and smiled at me . i ran up to the nurse and gave her the biggest hug ever .

"thank you so much."

"no problem girl . it's my job . now get to your girlfriend . she's been out for a while so she might want to see a pretty face ." she walked away and i headed into the room .

"vanessa ?" i called out . she didn't say anything . her eyes were closed . maybe the nurses just played with my feelings . maybe she really is gone .

"vanessa please just do something if you are here with me . please." i tried not to cry but a tear escaped my eye anyway .

i sat down next to her in the bed . i kissed her lips . they're warm . she has to be alive .

"baby , i love you . so much . there's so many things i wish i could tell you about and so many i wanna say ...." i looked at her and i just felt so empty . "i miss you . i miss us .. i wanna be a family . i wanna marry you some day , have babies but i guess god took away from me the one thing that made me happy ." i took her hand and i kissed it . i took one of my rings off and i put it on her middle finger and intertwined our fingers together .

"if this really is our last time talking . i just want you to know that no one will EVER take your place . i will never find true love again . you're my soulmate . my everything . and i love you so so much vanessa . so much .." i laid myself gently on her chest and i just cried silently .

"i love you too babe . so so much ." she whispered .

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i'm really sick guys and i have a lot going on xoxo final chapters ... 4 more to go and the story will be over :( i have mixed emotions about it .