Identical (COMPLETED)

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

TRENT'S POV

I tug at my tie for the third time and begin retying it again. I couldn't seem to get it right no matter how many times I tried.

I hear a snicker behind me and turn to see Jake leaning on my door with an amused smirk. "Dude Cali isn't going to notice if your tie is slightly crooked," he says.

I roll my eyes and finish tying my tie, tightening it just enough. "I know," I mutter. Okay so I'm a little nervous. Today is Christmas and I plan on telling Cali how I feel when I give her my gift. No, it's not a ring like Ollie and Jake seem to believe it is. But it is extremely important to me. It's my mom's favorite necklace that she used to wear every day. It was a simple gold necklace with a pearl attached to it that has been handed down her family since my great great grandmother. She gave it to me one day in the hospital and told me to give it to someone as important to me as she once was. I hated when she talked about herself like that, but she knew it was inevitable.

"Look T, Cali definitely feels the same, so no need to stress about it. You have everything planned perfectly, she'd be stupid not to return your feelings," Jake says genuinely.

I smile involuntarily. "Thanks man." Jake has been my best friend for years and he's one of those people that you can just feel comfortable spilling your deepest, darkest secrets to, so I can't help myself when the next words spill out of my mouth, "I just sometimes worry that it's all going to be too much for her one day..." He looks at me in confusion. "Jake, my identical twin raped her. Sometimes when she looks at me I just feel like she sees him and it messes with my head. Of all people in the world to fall in love with, I fall for the girl who sees my face in her nightmares," I laugh humorlessly.

These are thoughts I've been having for a while, but pushing to the back of my mind. Maybe the reason I never wanted to think of a future was because I was worried there wouldn't be one. Not because I didn't want one but because I'm worried she won't one day and I'm not sure I'd be able to handle that... I'm falling too deep and I have no way of knowing if there's going to be someone there to keep me afloat.

Jake walks further into the room and sits on the couch. "I can't imagine the scenario you're in T, but what I do know is you'll forever regret it if you don't at least try with her. Maybe one day years from now she will decide she can't do it anymore." My chest painfully clenches at this thought, making me visibly flinch. Am I really in too deep already? "Or one day you'll find yourself marrying this girl and spending the rest of your life with her, but you'll never know unless you try."

I nod slowly. "But we've never gone further then kissing. I don't want to push her, I mean the last time she... it was my brother and it was forcibly and... she... I... we're identical," I fumble through my words.

"You two haven't been together long, but you got together fairly quick, too quick if she thought you to be anything like your brother. Clearly she sees the difference if she's as serious about the two of you as you are. And when it comes to intimacy keep it slow, let her be the one to take it to the next level so you're sure and so is she," Jake advises.

I nod again. "Fuck, I'm never like this," I laugh and Jake joins me.

"It's definitely new to see you this nervous over anything let alone a girl, quite amusing too, but I'm happy for you T," Jake smiles.

"Thanks," I say as I look into the mirror and smooth back my hair one last time before walking into the main room where I set everything up; by the window, decorated all the way to the star up on top, sits a Christmas tree. Cali came by yesterday and we decorated my whole place, a little late in the season, but better late than never.