Broken Honor (Genji x Reader) [COMPLETED]

034- Pitiful Laughs and Half Smiles

"I'm gonna take care of things, there's things I need to sort out"

If Genji was surprised that Hanzo had killed the angel, he didn't show it. Instead he curled his fingers and threw three silver shrunkens past his brother's head as a warning. "(Y/N) wait," Genji ordered. You reached your hand out and steadied yourself against the cracked doorframe before you glanced over your shoulder to stare at your fiancé, searching for any sign of emotion on his scarred face. Before you could get a good look at him however, he turned his back to you and faced your mother. "Leah, get her out of here." He said and your mother moved quickly, grabbing your shoulders and removing you from the situation.

"Mom," You struggled, turning your head to look at her terrified face. "Mom stop. Let me go please." When you two were far enough from the conflict, she spun you around and held your face in her hands. "(Y/N)," She pleaded, stroking your cheek. "This is beyond us. These people-they're dangerous. I never wanted this life for you. Come back home to Japan with me, please. I can keep you safe, I can-"

"No!" You cried, grabbing her hands and forcibly removing them from your face. "How do you except me to trust you so easily? You may be my mother but you haven't been in my life at all! You don't know a single thing about me! You don't know what I've been through-what I've done!" You threw your hands up in the air as you watched your mother's hurt expression.

  "Then let me help you," Your mother pleaded, reaching out to you. You flinched away and pulled your sweater closer to your body as a type of comfort. "I know I haven't been there for you but, let me make up for it! I can be there at your wedding! I can be there for your child! I can-"

"You could never make up the years we lost together. Do you even know what my favorite color is? No? Well it's (f/c)! If were there for me you would've known that!" You yelled at her, feeling tired and stressed because of the recent events.

"I tried to protect you!" Your mother shrieked, stomping her boot on the ground as she cried. "If I had known that you were going to be in danger when you were born then I wouldn't have even had you in the first place."

You blinked up at her and shrunk back, scared, confused and angry. Your mother must have noticed her mistake because she looked at you with those pitifully wet eyes and fell to her knees. Your stomach felt tight as you backed away from the woman before you and you hugged yourself tightly.

Just like Angela told me You thought to yourself, attempting to slow your heavy breathing.

~•~

"If you ever feel like you're drowning or feel like there's no escape," She taught you, handing you a piece of paper with her handwriting on it. "Hold yourself like this-" she wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed "-tight."

You nodded aimlessly, rubbing the piece of paper between your thin fingers. "I'm serious (Y/N)," Angela scolded you, flicking your head lightly. "I don't want you to ever feel like there's no other option but to give up." You stared at her then. It seemed like you had looked at her for the first time and you almost gasped at the sight of her beautiful eyes.

"I'm sorry," You whispered and you felt your hand start to reach up towards her cheek but you pushed it down. "If it makes you happy, I'll hug myself whenever I'm scared."

"Tight." She added, putting her hands on her hips and nodding approvingly.

"Tight." You agreed, smiling up at her.

~•~

You held yourself then, and for the first time you felt like you were going to be ok. You hadn't felt this way when you were with Genji. No, when you were with Genji it was a totally different feeling. You felt his love and limitless affection but you also felt something else. Guilt. Guilt for the ones he had slain. Guilt for all the times you had him had fought. Guilt for all the times he hurt you. And pity. Pity for you. Pity for his brother. Pity for his victim's families. And pity for himself. Pity for his past. And pity for his poor late mother, who had died soon after he was born.