mistake [luke hemmings]

h o m e

//

Luke had made eggs and bacon for me, which really lifted my mood. It almost made me forget that I had been attacked only a few days ago.

Almost.

Even though I had mixed feelings about what Luke had said, I decided that if he wanted to talk about it, he can talk about. It sure as hell wasn't easy for me to forget about it, but I was still tired and could barely keep up with a conversation anyway.

On the walk home, we didn't talk much. Luke stayed right by my side the whole time, making sure that I wouldn't faint from exhaustion or get snatched away again. Finally, he spoke up: "Listen, about that day..." his voice droned off, then he shook his head, as if he decided against talking about it after all.

I looked up at him, expecting him to continue, but his expression didn't change. I pursed my lips but let it go.

We stayed quiet as we kept walking, and I stole a few glances at Luke, who still looked dazed. I sighed. "Luke, are you alright?"

He looked at me, surprised, and blinked, as if trying to jump out of his private thoughts. "Yeah, I'm fine," he answered quietly, but after a few moments, he shook his head. "No. Not, I'm really not fine at all."

He stopped and turned towards me. I halted and faced him, scared and confused.

"Phoenix, on my way to meet up with Ronnie, I heard someone crying. It was as I was passing a dark alley. The crying kept coming, and I heard someone slap someone else, and the crying had stopped. I knew someone was getting hurt, and at that point, I had a chance to stop them. I had to do something." He muffled back a sob and looks at everything but me. "I speed-walked down the alley and hid behind a dumpster. I could see a woman leaning against the walls of the alley. And there was thi-this man. I didn't see who it was from where I was hiding. But he kept-" Luke shook his head, and I took his hand, telling him that's it's alright. "He kept doing things. I-I just had to save the woman. She didn't deserve it. No one deserves it." He looks into my eyes and shakes his head in shock.

"What happened, Luke?"

He gulps before speaking again. "I took a rusted crowbar that was laying in the ground just outside the dumpster. I ran as fast as I could and hit him hard. The woman screamed 'cause she didn't see me coming. Then she grabbed her pure and ran as fast as she could. I dropped the crowbar and leaned down to where the man had fallen, just to see if he was alive. I half hoped he was, half hoped he wasn't." He wipes a tear from his eye and sniffles. "It was Ronnie." I gasped inaudibly, my heart starting to speed up. I shook my head, amazed.

"Was he okay?"

Luke nods. "He was unconscious, but breathing."

I smiled calmly. "Luke, you saved someone from being mugged."

"Yeah, but it should've been you," he snapped. "I should've saved you," quieter this time.

I stared at him, tears running down his face. I sigh quietly and took a step towards Luke. "I love you," I whisper before I kiss him deeply, pressing my body against his, my arms around his neck. I moved my lips, hoping to feel his moving against mine and maybe wanting to feel his tongue slip between my teeth, but he pulled back. "I can't," he told me quietly with disconnection and guilt in his eyes. I knit my eyebrows together. "

"Why, Luke? Please, tell me."

He shook his head. "I don't feel the same way."

+

Luke's feelings are very bipolar.