As he walked over towards me, my mouth was feeling very dry and I was shaking. He grazed my arm with his hand and asked me if I was ok.
“No,” I told him, “I’m not ok.” I turned away from him. I felt like I was about to cry and didn’t want him to see my tears. He knew I needed a moment alone to collect my thoughts so he just stood there, by my side not saying anything but reassuring he was there if I needed him. “I miss you..” I muttered under my breath. A part of me didn’t want him to hear, I just needed to say it but he did hear it.
“I miss you.” He whispered back into my ear. I just wanted to turn around and have him hold me in his arms but I didn’t. In the back of my mind I kept telling myself that it was over between us. He had moved on with Becky, he wasn’t ever going to leave her for me. I had been trying to move on as well. It proved to be a lot more difficult than it looked. Niall had a part of my heart and it just couldn’t go away. I had fallen so quickly and so hard for him that at one point I couldn’t picture my life without him. Every time I would see him, it would literarily break my heart. I had been happy but because I had been scared, I had let him go. It was my fault we weren’t together anymore, and I knew that. I wiped away a tear and cleared my throat. I turned around to face his beautiful green eyes. I felt myself tremble.
“We have to stop fighting whatever it is between us.” He said. “Throughout these last two weeks I just wanted to pick up the phone and call you to tell you that I need you and that I miss you but I didn’t think that was fair. We both know my situation. How did our lives become so complicated? I miss our simple life together.”
“I miss it too.” I said.
“God I hate this. Why can’t we just be able to be together?”
“Because then it would just be too simple.” I said. “Look Niall, I respect your decision to be with Becky, I wouldn’t want it to go down any other way. It just sucks that I have to be the one that gets hurt in this situation.”
“You’re not the only one that’s hurting.” I told me. “I hurt every day that I’m not with you.”
He couldn’t just tell me those things and expect me to do nothing about it. I knew it was wrong but I didn’t think of the consequences in that second. We moved closer and closer towards one another. I could feel his breath getting closer to mine.I wanted to kiss him so badly because I knew with his kiss that everything would be alright. I went for it and kissed him. Our lips locked and I had never felt a more amazing feeling in my life. He kissed me back for a couple of seconds then stopped and walked away from me. “I’m sorry, I cant.”
I shook my head. I was so embarrassed that I had to get away. “Don’t come after me. Don’t ever come back after me.” I said in an angry tone. I ran back inside the reception hall but couldn’t go back to the reception room where all of my friends were. They would have immediately asked me what was wrong; I knew it was all over my face and I just didn’t want to talk about it. I took a walk around the building to clear my head. There were at least another four weddings going on at the same time. I looked around to see so many happy people. There was a beautiful bride kissing her blonde husband. I had no idea who these people were but I thought of Niall right away. As I walked past one of the rooms, I heard yelling. My natural curiosity got the best of me and went to go listen in. It was an argument between two ladies. I creeped my head in to see who it was, it was Becky and her model friend Jenna. I had to be extra quiet so they didn’t know I was listening in.
“You have to be honest with him.” Jenna told Becky, “This has gone on for too long!”
“I can’t tell him the truth Jenna,” She replied, “I know he’ll leave me for sure.”
