Transparent [Kellic]

2. Shy Guy

Kellin's p.o.v:

Walking into the almost full science rooms, I start to worry about where I should sit.

What if I sit next to the most popular guy in school and his friends beat me up for bothering him? Sure it sounds dumb in theory, but this is highschool, you'd be surprised what goes down in this building.

Or what if I sit next to some freaky weirdo and my reputation gets ruined before it even starts, and nobody talks to me for the rest of the year because they think I'm weird too.

I'm probably just overthinking.

Since I was a little preoccupied in the office, I'm a little late for class. A little meaning there's only two empty seats left.

One beside a girl with bleached blonde hair, bobbing her head along to the music playing loudly in her ear buds, or a seat beside some kid with a snap back and a face piercing.

I decided to take a chance and sit by the guy. He's pretty cute, and honestly my gay ass wouldn't mind sitting next to him.

He smiles at me as I sit down, giving me a shy little wave.

I wave back, not knowing what to say or how to introduce myself. He seems to be the quiet type, so I don't really want to put him on the spot and make him talk to me if it makes him uncomfortable.

Deciding against talking to him, I look to the front of the class at the teacher who had finally gotten up out of his seat.

"Welcome class!" He exclaims with one of those weird creepy teacher smiles.

Probably expecting everyone in the class to greet him back in a happy tone, he's dreams were sadly crushed by the silence in the room. So quiet it was like you could actually hear some crickets chirping. I mean, what did he expect? For everyone to be happy to be back at school? Has he ever been to school?

His smile drops at the lack of words from the class. Sighing and taking a deep breath, he fixes his attitude, regaining his smile again. "Alright" he continues. "I'm Mr. James, I'm your science teacher obviously. So, Today we're going to-"

My mind stopped him there, drifting away from his boring speech that I should definitely be listening to. Instead I think about what this new school is going to be like.

Will I make friends quickly or will people see that I'm lonely and just become friends with me out of pity?

Maybe I won't make friends at all and just be that weird loner kid that eats his lunch in the bathroom by himself.

I miss Justin so much. He always helped me when I would overthink things. He knew how to take care of me. He knew all the things I do and don't like, and he stood by my side no matter what, even if I was being a fucking dumb ass.

What if I never find another person like Justin?

...What if people find out I'm trans?

What if people can already tell?

I don't want a repeat of last year. I don't want people to find out that I am and then treat me differently and give me weird looks in the hallways.. or worse.

What if my dad figures out that my mom signed me up as male and he makes them change it to my biological gender? I wouldn't put it past him to do something so close minded and vial.

God, I can't even imagine what my dad would do if he found out. Mom had the smart idea to do it behind his back, because of course he would disapprove, but how long can I really hide this from him? He's going to find out eventually. If I miss or skip a day of school someone will call him and say "your son is not at school today" and me being an only child, I can't pawn it off as if it was a call for my brother instead of me.