Eccedentesiast |NCT MARK LEE| ✔

Prologue: Where it all Begins

|Eccedentesiast|

(Noun) - Someone who hides their pain behind a smile

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Blah - A/N

'Blah' - Thoughts

"Blah" - Dialogue

Blah - Text message

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•Vancouver, Canada•

One cut.

Two cut.

Deeper. It had to be deeper.

Deep enough to kill her.

An airy whimper left her parted lips as the blade carved a smooth line into her once flawless, unblemished skin. Slowly, but surely, the tiniest pricks of blood seeped through the open wound. She sat there on the freezing cold tiles of the bathroom floor, draped over the edge of the bathtub, waiting for the droplets of blood to turn into a scarlet stream.

Once the flow of blood had stopped, she repeated the procedure of tearing her skin apart with a kitchen knife.

She brought the knife down on her wrist, cutting deep into her veins and savouring the stinging pain coursing through her limb. Like millions of crimson flowers blooming, blood poured out of the gashes at a shocking pace and left a trail of vermillion down her arm in its wake. It gradually pooled into a small puddle on the floor as blood continued gushing steadily from her cuts.

Drip.

A tear slid down the arc of her cheek smoothly. The pain was too much. Whether it was because of the excruciating physical pain that numbed her whole arm or the pain that gripped her heart in its cruel clutches, she wasn't sure why she was crying.

She had wanted this for so long. So why was she burdened with the feeling of remorse and regret?

Mustering up the courage to end her own life was a long and tedious process. Ironically, there was nothing courageous about trying to take her own life.

She was nothing but a coward.

She chose the easier way out because she was weak.

Dying is easy, living is harder.

The only thing stopping her from carrying out the deed earlier was the thought of never being able to see her precious little brother's smile again. Would he miss her just as much as she would when she leaves?

Dying would mean she won't be able to see her cute brother grow from a boy to a man. She won't be able to give him the support he needs during the darkest times of his teenagehood. She won't be there to watch him when he falls in love for the first time. She won't be able to see him grinning like a lovesick fool when his future lover walks down the aisle. The realization hit her like a sledgehammer to the face and she wept harder.

The knife slid out of her bloody hands and fell to the floor with a clang that sounded like a gunshot in the ghostly silence of the bathroom.

"Seulgi-noona?" She stiffened at the tentative call of her name from her brother.

"What was that noise? Are you okay?"

Her breathing hitched as her head swivelled around to face the heart-stopping sight of the slightly ajar door.