Battle Scars [BxB]

T E N

I only took a couple of days off school before slipping back into the normal routine of essays and teachers and bullies. I had history first - a lesson I'd come to hate. It was a shame because I was actually really fond of the subject. It was the teacher that was an issue.

Last year during detention, Mr Gabarro had left Luca and I alone to scrape gum. He caught us messing around in school, and now, neither of us could even look each other in the eye. It was the most awkward experience of my life.

I mindlessly tugged at my sleeves, pulling them past my fingers self-consciously. Sometimes, I really wished Tommy wasn't a year older than me. I wouldn't be alone in this building, surrounded by people that hated me for no reason. Everything would be a thousand times easier. But he wasn't here. Neither was Luca. I didn't even have Milo to save me here. I was alone.

Luca had been sending me messages constantly. He did what he always did - sent me photos of cute animals he'd found online. Tommy had been checking up on me a lot too - no doubt under Luca's command, but I could tell he was just as worried as my boyfriend was. I was grateful to have people who cared so much, but couldn't help feeling insanely guilty for what I'd done. The more I thought about it, the less it made sense.

It wasn't like I was trying to kill myself. I didn't have the intent to die, that was never my motive. I just wanted to feel pain. I wanted to hurt myself because then maybe the aching of my heart would finally make sense. But it didn't. All it resulted in was a set of brand new scars to hide.

"Mr Hart?"

I flinched, glancing up at Mr Gabarro as I tried to blink away my foggy vision, "Y-Yes, sir?" I gulped.

"Am I distracting you?"

My eyes widened a little when I realised I hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention. Everyone's eyes were on me as snickers and murmurs rippled through the classroom. I felt so vulnerable and fragile now Luca had left. Like I could be murdered on school property and no one would notice. "N-No, sir."

"Good, so, I'm sure you'll be able to explain to the class who you think was responsible for ending the Cold War?" He urged.

"Uh...R-Ronald Reagan." I gulped.

He rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed with my answer. "Well done, Mr Hart, but in an exam you may need to give a little more detail. Care to explain your answer?" Mr Gabarro pressed patronisingly.

I was aware of every pair of eyes boring into my soul. My face began to heat up quickly, my palms sweating. I knew the answer. I just couldn't say it. I was painfully shy in these types of situations. "Uh...h-he proposed the idea of SDI-"

"And what does SDI stand for?" He interrupted sharply.

"S-Strategic Defence Initiative." I choked out awkwardly.

"Go on."

"Reagan knew that the if they built it, the USSR wouldn't be able to compete, b-because it would cripple their economy." I stammered, "So, both sides realised they c-couldn't keep spending money on the arms race. I-It led to a series of summits, eventually e-ending the Cold War." I rambled. I was talking so quickly, I wasn't sure that anyone had heard a word I had said.

But apparently, my answer was adequate enough, because the teacher finally left me alone, turning his attention onto a girl with big glasses and a fluffy pink pen. I let out a sigh of relief, slouching back in my chair as I continued scribbling notes down. However, only a couple of moments of peace passed before my thoughts were interrupted once more and the classroom door flew open.

Everyone's sat upright at their desks, shutting their mouths and pretending to scribble away in their books. Ms Riedo, the headteacher, stood at the door, her cold gaze scanning the room through her thick frameless glasses before her beady eyes landed on me. "Mr Gabarro, I'm afraid I need to steal Theodore Hart for a few moments." She told him politely.

"Please, go ahead." He smiled politely. Even the teachers were scared of the stern headmistress.

I gulped, quickly scooping up my things and shoving them into my backpack. It was silent as I exited the room, following Ms Riedo to her office down he hall, wondering what an earth this was about.

Her thin lips tugged into a short smile as she sat down behind her organised desk, gesturing for me to take a seat opposite her. I smiled back nervously, it was a rare sight to see her looking even remotely warm or affectionate. "So, Theodore." She sighed heavily, adjusting her glasses on her crooked nose as if she was preparing to tell me some bad news. "I'm so sorry to hear about what happened." She started, making my entire body stiffen apprehensively. "I hope you're feeling better since you've left hospital."

"Th-Thanks." I murmured awkwardly. "H-How did you...?"

"Your parents rang me." She continued promptly. "I take the wellbeing of my students very seriously, so, I want you to know that if you need anything at all, you only have to come and find me."

I nodded slowly, trying to dig a little deeper into the situation and discover what was really going on here. Did she really drag me into my office just for this? "Thank you, Ms Riedo." I managed to choke out thickly.

She offered me a soft smile, "I know some kids have been giving you a hard time since your boyfriend's little stunt in the canteen last year." She carried on after a thin pause. I knew exactly what she was referring to. The time Luca clambered onto a table and announced that he had a boyfriend to the whole school. It was a sweet gesture, but sometimes, I wished he thought it through a little more.

"Y-Yeah...that." I mumbled to myself, struggling to form a reply.

"The school is going to do everything we can to make sure this behaviour doesn't get out of hand. Starting over the next few weeks, we'll be running compulsory assemblies about bullying, depression and issues faced by LGBT youths."

My green eyes snapped wide open, "Th-That's not necessary, really-"

"Relax, Theodore, these assembles are beneficial to everyone. I want people to know that they're not alone. You're not alone. Plus, it was my wife's idea, so if I don't carry this thing out now, I'll be sleeping downstairs for the next week."

"Y-Your wife?"

She sighed deeply, "Yes, my wife." She confirmed shortly. "But discussing my personal life is not the purpose of this meeting."

"S-So, what is the purpose?"

"I just wanted to have a chat. To let you know that if you need anything at all, we're here to help. I'm not as scary as you might think." Ms Riedo forced a smile, "Are we clear?"

I nodded bashfully, "Yes. Thank you." I breathed out. "A-Actually, there is something you could do." I pondered, playing with my hands under the desk anxiously.

"Anything you need."

"Is there any ch-chance I could transfer to a different history class?"