Battle Scars [BxB]

F O U R T E E N

I woke up feeling groggy and sleep deprived. My eyes were dry but my cheek were wet.

I noticed Milo still sound asleep on a mattress on the floor, his limbs splayed out as his jaw hung open. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and carefully crept past him, cautious not to wake him up.

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror with heavy eyes. My glasses were broken, so I'd have to endure blurry vision until I got them fixed. But the foggy view was still clear enough for me to see the extent of last night's damage. My eye was swollen, the bruises had darkened and the crimson cuts contrasted against my pale skin. Everything ached and throbbed numbly, like my whole body was subject to blunt blades.

Once I'd fed the rabbits, given the tortoise some lettuce and let the dog out for a run around the garden, I headed back inside. Luckily, no one was awake yet, so the living room was quiet and tranquil as I seated myself on the cushy sofa and grabbed my phone. I didn't give myself time to change my mind before dialling Lucas' number. I wasn't sure whether he'd pick up, it was so early, he'd probably still be asleep. I glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall, displaying the time to be a little past five AM.

But, to my surprise, he answered almost immediately, his sleepy face appearing on the screen in front of me. "Mm, hey." He mumbled as a yawn slipped past his lips. He'd clearly just woken up. And he'd clearly just been woken up by me. He was laying in bed, his raven hair a mess on the pillow, surrounding him like a halo. His hazel eyes were laced with sleep and weighed down by dark bags.

"D-Did I wake you?"

He glanced at the screen, his brows twitching into a frown as he took in my appearance. He was a little slow considering the time of day, but eventually something snapped and he sat bolt upright in bed, clutching his phone tightly. "Fuck, what happened?"

I'd expected myself to burst out crying the second I saw Luca. I felt safe and protected with him. Like I could be as pathetic as I wanted to be and he wouldn't judge me. But I didn't. I merely stared blankly into the camera and calmly explained, "E-Eddie and Sam and some of his mates." I told him simply. "I was walking home and they cornered me."

His eyes widened, his face contoured in sadness, "Are you okay?"

I nodded dully.

"Shit, baby, I'm so sorry." He cooed. "Have you reported it?"

I shook my head.

He chewed on his lower lip in contemplation for a moment, "I really wish I was there." He finally whispered.

I offered him a soft smile, "Sorry for waking you."

"It's okay, Theo. My roommate wakes up for his morning run at like four AM every day, so I was already awake."

"L-Luca...I think I'm going to hospital for a while." I told him gently.

His eyes flicked up in surprise, "Are you hurt?"

"N-No. Not that kind of hospital."

He frowned at my response, "You mean, like...like a psych ward?"

"Y-Yeah. Something like that." I mumbled indistinguishably. "It was Phoenix's idea."

Luca nodded wordlessly. His face was hard and unreadable. All I could see were the gears turning in his head as he tried to digest this new piece of information, attempting to understand the situation. Attempting to understand me. "Okay." He finally said.

He was the only one who didn't make me feel like a freak for wanting to do this. The only person who understood why this was something I needed to do. The only person who didn't even question me. I loved him for it.

It's why it'd be so hard to let go.

"L-Luca..." I braced myself, finally feeling my cheeks grow damp as tears welled in my emerald eyes. "Neither of us ever e-expected things to turn out like this." I whispered. "A-And I'm just saying that...I wouldn't totally resent you if you left."

His face fell in pure confusion, "What?"

"Th-This is your chance." I sniffed, trying to hold back my tears for Luca's sake. "I'm giving you the ch-chance to just walk away right now."

"Is that what you want?" He asked simply.

"N-No, of course not-"

"Then don't say it." He snapped. "Fuck, Theo, what's wrong with you? You're my boyfriend, and I love you, how hard is that to understand?" He told me firmly. "If I ever want to walk away from this, I'll tell you. But it would be the stupidest mistake I'd ever make." He added.

I was slightly taken aback by his response, completely shocked by how angry he sounded. I just nodded and muttered a strangled "Okay."

Luca sighed heavily, "I'm sorry...I didn't..." He trailed off, watching me regretfully. "Will you be out before Christmas?"

"I-I don't know." I shrugged. "Hopefully."

"Well, I can't wait to see you. I know you'll do amazing in there."

I offered him a small, forced smile, "I love you."

"I'm proud of you." He shot back.