Battle Scars [BxB]

T W E N T Y T H R E E

I sat in assembly with a glazed over expression, watching Ms Riedo ramble on about bullying and its effects on people's mental health. A small smile curved my lips when she flicked the PowerPoint slide and the screen flashed a new title. She'd started talking about LGBT students, mentioning her wife in the process. Kids started whispering and shuffling around, but my eyes were fixed on the headteacher, absorbing her every word.

I felt eyes on me, as if they knew who these assemblies were about. But I didn't care. Not anymore.

I only started feeling uneasy when she began talking about depression. Self harm. Suicide.

I grabbed my bag and crept out unnoticed, sighing in relief once I'd reached the deserted corridor. I dug through my backpack, looking for my phone as I tried soothing my breathing. After a quick phone call to Luca, the smile was back on my face. The hospital had helped, but sometimes, I still needed someone to remind me that the world wasn't ending just because it felt like I couldn't breathe.

Once the halls started to flood with students, I flung my backpack over my shoulder and glided towards Ms Riedo's office. She instructed me to enter after a couple of knocks, and I did as told, sitting down opposite her, separated by her organised desk.

"It's great to have you back. Are you feeling better?" She started.

I nodded, grinning happily, "A lot better." I replied. "I just wanted to say that y-your assembly...well, th-thank you."

She rose her brows in surprise, "It was okay? I thought I noticed you leave."

"Well...I did. B-But it was still good. I'm sure there's a bunch of people who benefited from it. Honestly."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it." She smiled politely.

"So, you know how you said I-I could come and talk to you whenever I want?"

Her posture twitched in interest, leaning a little closer, "Of course. Is something bothering you?"

"N-No. Not at all." I assured her. "I mean...yeah, I guess a little, but nothing serious."

I missed the entirety of first period, rambling on about anything and everything. She made us some coffee and we shared a packet of biscuits, letting me talk and talk and talk without intermission. I mentioned Luca and how it was killing me to have him so far away. I talked about Phoenix and how he was quickly turning into one of my closest friends. Tommy and how he cared about me more than any friend ever had. Milo and how scared he was that I'd do something stupid again. My parents, how they claimed to love me, but I could see the disappointment shadowing their lies.

She listened intently, occasionally interjecting a mini story or comment about her own life. Once I was finally finished, she spoke. "You've got quite a lot on your plate, Theodore."

"I-I know. And I'm sorry, you're not m-my therapist, it's just...she doesn't care that much. The one I had in hospital was great, but the one I've got now..."

"Can I make a suggestion?" She offered and I nodded quickly. "I think you need to drop one of your subjects. You take four A levels, and the recommended amount is three."

"I don't know." I sighed.

"Four subjects is still a lot to handled for anyone. But for someone in your position, I think dropping one might make life a little easier."