Battle Scars [BxB]

T W E N T Y S E V E N

I could tell Luca was smothering his true emotions with proud smiles when I told him I would be leaving England for university. He didn't want to see me go, I could tell. I didn't want to leave him either, but I had to get out, however painful it may be.

To him, our relationship was ending. I'll spend the next year travelling and then permanently move abroad. I'll never see him anymore, not that I even saw much of him at the moment. We were both miserable. I was leaving him behind, just like he'd left me behind. But this time, we might not be able to survive.

Luca hugged me tightly at the train station, his arms wrapped firmly around me. It was as if he was trying to remember every inch of my body unless he never touched me again. I just hugged him back, kissed him hard on the lips and left with a reassuring smile. For once, I felt like the strong one.

I rarely left my bedroom anymore. Studying had taken over my life and was slowly consuming me. Phoenix came down some weekends and pulled me away from my desk, as did Tommy.

Luca came home more than usual. Sometimes he'd just sit on my bed reading a book or writing notes while I worked at the desk. We didn't always talk or smile or touch. We only craved each other's company, and when we finished with the books, we were both too mentally exhausted to do much but lay in each other's arms, talking about the stupidest things.

I had to go to extra therapy sessions during my exams to make sure I wasn't stressing out too much. But I was okay. However much I struggled, I was always okay in the end.

I was overcome with happiness after my last exam. I'd never have to go back to school again; the place that haunted my dreams and made my body squirm with dread. I'd never have to see those faces ever again, or endure their fists and words of malice.

Luca's first year at university finished soon enough, giving us enough time to enjoy one last beautiful summer before everything changed forever. Grey came back with Phoenix for a couple of weeks, so we hung out as a group a lot. Tommy was offered a place at a university in London, not too far from where Lila was heading. Everyone was happy, including myself.

"I seriously love you." Luca whispered, the covers pulled up over our heads as we snuggled up in his bed. "And I'm gonna miss you more than anything." Tears blossomed in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away and fixed on an artificial smile.

"I'm gonna miss you too." I replied, nuzzling closer for comfort.

"Don't forget about me, Theo. I mean it - I'm not losing you."

I smiled as my own eyes began to water, "You're not losing me. I l-love you, Luca."

"You're as cute as the day we met." He smiled warmly, though his eyes told a different story. He was breaking apart.

"I can't b-believe I was sleeping on the counter the first time you saw me." I chuckled lightly.

"It actually worked out great; you didn't see me checking you out." He winked.

My family cried when I said goodbye to them for the last time, hugging them with a wide smile and promising to call them the second I landed in India. I was nervous, terrified even. But I was beyond excited. I was doing something for me; I couldn't ignore my own existence anymore. This was a gap year I'd been planning for months, and I was going to enjoy it. I knew it.

Luca drove me to the airport in silence, his car humming with age. He didn't leave my side until we reached security, where we both stopped walking, our hearts heavy with dread. When I turned to look at him, he was already crying. "I don't want you to leave." He said quietly, his voice broken and shattered.

I didn't say a word, just buried my head in his chest and began to cry. "I love you so much." I sobbed.

He snaked his arms around my body and kissed the top of my head softly. "I love you too."

This isn't the end. I kept telling myself, over and over. This isn't the end.

But maybe it was.

Maybe we were naive to think that something so fragile and wonderful could exist thousands of miles apart. He owned a piece of my heart and I owned a piece of his. Part of me would die when I left, but that was okay.

Because even if our relationship began to decay, Luca had given me something beautiful, and I'd always love him for that.

"Get out of here before I handcuff you to me so you never have to leave." He sniffled, wiping his eyes.

I nodded and laughed through tears. I didn't trust my voice, so I merely kissed him and hugged him one last time.

"Bye, Luca."

"Goodbye, Theo."