Home to Avonlea

28. the true danger

Anne had never felt this feeling before.

It was a warm, buzzing feeling, starting at the tips of her toes and surging slowly through her body. Her mouth felt dry and she didn't know what to say. She knew that Gilbert meant what he said and she was slightly overwhelmed. Anne had not experienced many people in her life showing her a great deal of care or love, so to get such an important show of care from somebody she had only recently considered a true friend was a big deal.

Gilbert looked at Anne, unwavering as he held her gaze. His hand was still loosely grasping her sleeve but she didn't feel trapped. Anne felt like she always did around Gilbert - safe.

Anne bit her lip slowly, nervous of what to say. She was used to rejection, not acceptance. She was prepared for every scenario where somebody didn't want anything to do with her but she'd never thought about what to say if somebody openly admitted they cared a lot about her and that she was important to them.

"Thank you." She whispered eventually, speaking slowly as the words came to her. "For being so kind... I know you are like that to everybody but you don't have to be. You chose to be kind and not everybody does... trust me, I know. It is the usual story for me that people don't care that much about me besides my dear Marilla and Mathew. Diana too, I suppose. For you to say that, it... it means a -- it means a lot to me."

Her voice had gone quiet like his as she felt it was a solemn moment. They stood there in the narrow track amongst the overgrown crops towering above their heads. The moment felt special. They were both tired, bruised and hurting but together they were strong and brave and they felt safe.

"I think..." Anne's words were staggered as she mulled them over, overthinking as usual. "Despite our rough start and your calling me carrots and our consequent academic rivalry - which I do hope will continue if our lives ever return to normal - and everything that came after that... you have still shown me your kind heart and your open mind and -- and patience and bravery and.. selflessness."

Gilbert couldn't quite believe what Anne was saying. Here she was - the stubborn orphan girl who always declared openly how much she despised him and was not a fan of him - was saying all of these wonderful things about him... Gilbert didn't entirely think Anne meant all of this, surely she couldn't. Her opinion of him was highly valued in his mind and if it was this good then he must be dreaming.

"I think you could even be a kindred spirit, Gilbert," Anne said softly, her grey eyes glowing brightly.

"One day, maybe..." She added, taking on that old Anne superiority which he kind of loved. Gilbert liked that she wasn't soppy like some of the other girls, she was tough and it wasn't easy to make her like you. You had to work for it and Gilbert felt proud that she finally liked him. Maybe.

Gilbert bit his lip, hiding a sheepish smile.

"No matter what happens, we're in this together. Joseph won't get away with what he did to you, I promise." Anne said fiercely in a low, dangerous voice.

Gilbert felt a stir in his chest when Anne got so passionate and determined about things. He loved her fire and how brave she was and he never doubted that her clever mind could riddle them out of any situation. He had never known a girl before who was so fearless and smart.

"I didn't think... you'd ever forgive me truly," Gilbert whispered, his voice still painfully sore. "For calling you... carrots."

Anne thought back to the time she met Gilbert. She was very insecure about coming to Avonlea and meeting so many strangers and worrying about being judged... She had definitely let his teasing cut deep and it had affected her for a long time. She was tired of it stinging her every time she thought of it. She'd have to just believe him when he told her that he didn't mean it and he was sorry.