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36. prison blues

Matthew Cuthbert had struggled with his heart for a long time.

Marilla thought this was the end as she watched her brother crumple to the floor. She felt her heart drop and she abandoned what she was doing and sprinted faster than she'd ever run across the yard down to the gate. She fell to her knees beside Matthew and rolled him over onto his back, her hands shaking.

"Matthew!" She cried.

Matthew couldn't see, the world was blotchy black and his ears only heard the deafening slow thump of his uneven heartbeat. His head was spinning. Matthew wheezed, his hand on his heart as he struggled to breathe. Marilla's own heart thundered in her ears like a hundred galloping horses. She grabbed onto Matthew's other hand and pulled his head onto her lap, fixing his eyes with hers.

"Matthew Cuthbert you are not dying on me now. You're not." Marilla said firmly, yet her voice trembled. "I'll tell you why, because our Anne needs you. She needs you to stay alive. Think of her, we have to take care of her. I can't do this without you."

Matthew closed his eyes, a deep fear of losing Anne blazing in his struggling heart. Anne was being taken away and Marilla didn't even know it... What if Anne went away and never came back? What if she spent her whole life in a reformatory? If he died Marilla would be all alone. They had to find a way to get Anne out of the reformatory but how? The family had to stay strong, they had to help her.

"Deep breaths, Matthew." Marilla leant down and stroked his head gently, as fearful tears dwelled in her eyes. "Come on, Matty, hold on."

Matthew hadn't heard that nickname since he was a boy, since before their mother passed away. Marilla used to call him Matty all the time and she used to stroke his head like that as she got him off to sleep at night when their mother was ill. It instantly calmed him and sent him back to those golden days before the grief crippled them both emotionally. Matthew wanted Anne to have a life like that, happy and hopeful. This was no life for her, a life of fear torn unwillingly from a happy home.

She deserved better. He needed to do better for Anne.

Matthew gathered all of his strength to take long, deep breaths and release them slowly. After several long, painful moments he felt his heartbeat slow into a soft, uneven beat. An agonising while later it hit a regular pattern and he could breathe clearly again. Matthew gasped deep breaths and opened his eyes, seeing his sister and the bright blue sky. His senses were awake and he focused them, the birds singing in the trees loudly, the breeze ruffling their hair, the smell of fresh air after a storm.

"You're alright, Matthew." Marilla soothed.

Jerry Baynard arrived at that time and opened the gate, whistling cheerful French tunes as he always did. When he saw Matthew on the floor with Marilla he was afraid. Jerry ran to them, desperate to discover what had happened. He cared for the Cuthberts almost as much as his own family, especially Matthew who had been a mentor to him. Even Marilla had been kind to him and Anne was like a sister, he would be devastated if anything happened to them.

"Miss Cuthbert - is he well?" Jerry cried as he reached them.

"Not nearly as well as I'd like him to be, but he's alive - thank god," Marilla said briskly. "Go and fetch the doctor, tell him Matthew's had an incident of the heart. Take a horse, be swift now. Quick, Jerry."

Jerry nodded and ran to the stables, mounting their brown mare Belle with haste before galloping across the yard and away down the road.

"Come now, let's get you indoors." Marilla said to her brother after a few minutes.

Matthew was heavy to move but he was well enough to help support himself, with help from his sister. His legs felt weak and he was shaking like tree branches in the depths of winter. The siblings made their way slowly across the yard up to the Gables, with small steps and lots of deep breaths on Matthew's part.  Matthew's head was spinning and he felt weak, his heart falling into another uneven pattern as he moved. He held onto Marilla's arm tightly and thought of Anne.