i...i want to...to say why i...im crying...but really...really i just want to die...i just want to die...i...i know that that isnt a good way to end suffering...to end pain...just...just i want it all to stop...to stop forever....
last night when i went to bed i had a dream...a memory dream...i was forced back to october 24 of last year...i was forced to relive a day i try so hard to forget...to forget the sudden realization of the 23rd...of what i said...i couldnt handle this pain then...i cant...i cant handle it now...i almost killed myself that day...so many trucks passed me when i was walking home...everything wanted to jump in fornt of each one...each single truck...to let it all end...i just wanted to die...i want to talk to someone...someone in person...not through text...i dont want to be alone...i just want to die....
