Oblivious // Reader x Kim Namjoon

15) Reflection

  "Can we — Can we go somewhere? There's something I need to do."  You asked, hoping that your friends, no matter how mad at you they were, would agree.  

"Sure..." Jimin responded apprehensively, looking to Yuna for an approving nod. 

"But we've got to get you sobered up first before we do much of anything," Tae insisted while placing a comforting hand on your back.  

The five of you walked into the nearest gas station.  Yuna picked up the largest bottle of water she could find and a bunch of snacks.  She checked out and begrudgingly handed you the bag of goodies. 

"Drink all of this water and eat something.  I tried to pick out your favorites.  You'll start to feel betterish soon...  Now, where are we going princess?" She sounded cold, but you knew she wouldn't be talking to you at all if she didn't care.  She especially wouldn't be taking care of you.  You wondered why she hadn't let you waste yourself away...  Maybe you really did matter that much to her.

"There's this park... I used to go there when I was a kid.  It's not too far from here...  And there's this break in the trees that has an amazing view of the city...  I want to go there.  I need to go there."

A few moments of silence Jimin decided to break the awkward moment. 

"A little odd... Why such an odd and specific request, Y/N?"

"I just need to go there... It'll make more sense when we're there." 

Your friends didn't argue.  You weren't surprised that they would be down for such an unanticipated adventure. Within an hour or two, you all had walked the way to the peak you were talking about.  You definitely weren't supposed to be up there, in the park, in the middle of the night, but there was something about the crisp night breeze and the smell of nature that brought you back to the reality of the fucked up life you were leading.

 As your brain regained some clarity, your thoughts kept running over and over in the same way they had all day.  You couldn't take it anymore.  You needed to get them out of your head.  You needed it to be clear once again.  You would only be able to contain your sanity for a little while longer if everything remained entrapped in your head. 

So you screamed.  Not a little bit—a lot actually, and for a considerable amount of time at that.  At the absolute top of your lungs, you screamed out all of your frustrations.  It echoed out into the city.  Once you finished, there was a calm that was beginning to form inside of you.  The pressure was starting to lift. 

"What the... fuck.... was that?" 

You turned to see Yuna staring wide-eyed in your direction.  Tae had a hand over his heart and looked like he was still trying to recover from the previous scene.  Jimin was using Jungkook as a shield from you, only peeking out slightly to see what was happening. 

"I... um... I had some stuff to let out." You struggled to find a reasonable explanation for your ridiculous actions.

"Well no shit," Yuna barked back.  

"Come sit down," Jungkook started, reaching gently for your arm.  "It seems like you need to talk." 

You weren't sure if that was exactly what you needed to do, but he looked so eager to help you.  So worried.  As did the rest of them, even Yuna.  You knew that out of all things, you needed to apologize to her.  You just weren't sure how.

You lowered yourself down onto the slightly damp grass, kind of cold on your bare legs.  A shiver ran through your body but it wasn't the most unenjoyable thing. It was a solid reminder that you were alive and in the present moment.  You took a few moments to gather your thoughts, looking up at the dusky night sky.