Oblivious // Reader x Kim Namjoon

18) Divulge

You turned your head around to look at the hand now softly wrapped around your wrist. You braved the task of looking up at him.

"Stay."

You stared at Namjoon, mouth slightly open, still trying to process the sudden change in his demeanor.

"Please. Stay."

The desperation in his tone caused you to let out the reserve of air in your lungs that was keeping you from hyperventilating. You stared back at him as his slightly panicked eyes somehow calmed yours. Within a few moments, the tensions subsided and you nodded, agreeing to his request.

He pulled you gently into the room and closed the door behind him. Letting go of your wrist, he guided you to the bed with a hand on the top of your back and you let yourself take a seat. He waited until you sat down to sit down beside you.

"Sorry," he began, a hand scratching the back of his head. "Sorry for being such an ass. I... I guess I don't really have a good explanation..." He hung his head down for a second before lifting it up again to meet your eyes with worry in his. "Why... Why are you crying? What can I do?"

You looked up at him, your eyes darting away from their comfortable place on your knees. His eyes were boring into yours, the amount of worry riddled in them caused the tears to fall harder from your eyes.

Why was he being so good to you?

What in the world did you do to deserve it?

Your brain soured through the thousands of words you could have said but none of them seemed to be big enough to encompass everything you were feeling. Once again you had hit a wall that would take so much for you to overcome.

You weren't sure why or what caused you to do it, but your arms shot around his waist. Your head instinctively buried itself into his chest. You felt his arms stiffen at the sudden physical contact, almost as if his heart stopped beating. Within a few short moments, he softened, body collapsing from its stiffened state, his arms melting around you.

The two of you sat like that for an unexplainable amount of time. It was like one of those movie moments where the camera pans around and there is bright twinkly music. Your heart had longed so long for this moment with Namjoon and it was exploding with joy. But your head was still screaming to you all the things that could still go wrong and would still go wrong. You weren't fighting the silence in the room. You were fighting to bring that silence into your head.

Maybe it was the safety of the arms around you or the comfort of his hand gently brushing your back. Maybe it was how perfectly your head fit into the crook of his neck and how easily he rested his chin on your head. Maybe it was how you tuned into the sound of his breathing right above your ear, reminding you that he was alive and you were with him in the flesh, not in a dream.  

Whatever it was about the moment, you didn't care. It didn't matter. Your worries soon subsided. You were finally ready to come clean.

"I'm not Hayoung" you mumbled almost inaudibly with your face still buried in his chest.

"What?"

You lifted your head away from him to catch his eye.

"I am not Hayoung... I am mostly an idiot, but my actual name is Y/N..."

He didn't say anything, but he was still holding you, so you figured it wasn't the absolute worst possible reaction to your confession. You figured he was taking the time to process the bomb you just dropped.

"I know this really sucks a lot... and it seems like I'm this huge bitch for not letting you know this earlier. Like I was playing games with you. I really wasn't. Or at least I wasn't trying to." You sighed, shaking your head slightly as you still couldn't believe the pain and confusion you had caused Namjoon.