Farewell : Until We Meet Again

10/ la Waldo.

I couldn't sleep.

Not because I wasn't tired but because I was so excited about our trip the day after. I had successfully convinced my mom to go on vacation for two weeks because I noticed how worn out she has been because of work. At first she declined since we were dependent on her income and we didn't have the money for the gas and a cheap hostel.

However, my mom didn't know that I had been saving my own salary I earned at a local cafe for months now to go on this special trip, I organized myself. I even asked her bosses behind her back whether she could get two weeks of, unpaid of course. They all gave in. After all my persuading game isn't world famous for no reason.

I turned off my alarm, looking at the time:

5 AM

Much too early to not be grumpy.

I stretched and made my way around the mess on the floor of my room to reach our bathroom. Before exiting my small-sized room I glanced at the abandoned duffle bag next to my wooden single bed. Yesterday night I had such a hard time, packing everything essential in my old bag that half of my closet eventually ended up on the floor instead.

I even hesitated a second but then I just shrugged and postponed the needed tidy session. I don't have time for that...

I took a quick shower and re-entered my room to put on blue skinny jeans and a yellow flowy shirt. Yellow was indeed my favorite color as I left the room, deep in thought. Although I owned a lot of black, it wasn't my favorite color because first of all, black is not a color but a shade. Plus, I only wore black when I felt kinda emo, which I always am in school for example. Today I didn't feel sad nor gloomy, I felt happy and euphoric. Ergo, yellow...

I walked through our short hallway and jerked to a halt at the living room door. My mom was still fast asleep, laying on the battered couch that was too small for her frame. She always complained about her back, killing her because of that stupid couch.

Then and there I made a mental note to buy a bed with my savings next, with her approval or not. She didn't really like it when I spent my money for her; she always said that she wasn't worth it and that I should save for my education and future instead. My answer had always been the same though.

A successful future is worthless for me, if a mother isn't there to experience it with.

I smiled at that and turned around to enter the kitchen. Maybe or maybe not I may have realized as well, that I was unconsciously behaving like a certain vampire called Edward Cullen.

Suddenly I sat up breathing heavily.

I looked around expecting my old room decorated with posters and sheet music. Instead I was met with a new room, I still didn't feel home in. It was dark, the only light coming from the full moon's illumination outside of the big window. Something wet trickled down my forehead and I wiped the sweat hastily away with shaking hands. I took deep breaths in and out to calm down my erratic beating heart. I hugged my legs for comfort and drowned in the memories of the life I had left behind, the life I had destroyed. Not him.

For the past months I had tried so damn hard to suppress what happened on that fateful day that now even a snip of the unwelcomed memories, bad or good, would ignite a firework of emotions, all at the same time.

I totally forgot how good and happy the day of the accident had started for us. How happy I had once been in my life.

I sat there shaking in a room, clutching on dear life, totally lost, broken and unhappy I would have never been if my mom was still by my side.