Esmee Celestino
I just stayed in Rayos Del Sol's embrace, my head leaning against his chest so I could hear his heart beating. For me, it is a music that is good to listen to. It feels good inside, and calms my mind. When he leaves, I will miss him.
“We need to go.”
I hugged him even more, does it feel this heavy when an important person leaves your life? Like, just going to another country? Or is this just how I feel right now?
“Esmee...”
“Stay. Please.”
Hindi siya umimik, hinayaan niya lang ako sa ganitong posisyon.
'Di ko alam kung anong oras na ngayon, at kung ilang minuto o segundo kaming nagstay sa ganito. Dumating na si Nikolai at Clay pero 'di pa rin ako na layo Kay Rayos Del Sol.
“Hindi pa naman 'yan aalis, Esmee.” ani Clay, pero 'di ko siya nililingon. “Bukas pa naman. Kung gusto niyo, sulitin niyo na ang gabi mamaya.” rinig ko ang pagtawa nito. “Make a lot of babies— Aray!”
Gumalaw si Rayos Del Sol at may binato rito, paglingon ko kay Clay ay hawak-hawak na nito ang kanyang mukha at may maliit na notebook na sa sahig.
Tawa lang nang tawa si Nikolai. “Hindi kaya ni Ate ang maraming baby, isa lang daw muna.”
“Nikolai!” pagsaway ko rito.
Rayos Del Sol touched my hair and gently brushed his fingers to it. “Do you want to stay over at my house?”
Bago pa ako nakaimik ay nagreact na agad si Clay. “Ayan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko! Gagawa na—”
“Fuck you, Clay. Pag 'di ka pa tumahimik, 'di lang notebook ang tatama sa mukha mo.”
“Okay, okay, chill!”
“Laro na lang tayo Clay ng monopoly. Ve and I used to play this one before, c'mon!”
“Ve? Verena?”
Tumingin ako kay Rayos Del Sol at tumango. “Sure.” pag sagot ko sa kanyang tanong.
Tumingin na siya sa'kin at ngumiti. “Good.”
Pinanood na lang namin ang dalawa sa paglalaro ng monopoly hanggang sa maggabi na.
“Ako na bahala kayna Mama and Papa.” tinignan ni Nikolai si Rayos Del Sol. “Ikaw na bahala kay Ate, okay? Susunduin ko na lang siya bukas.”
“Yeah, sure. Pero ayaw mong sumama? Kasama ko si Seba—”
Siniko ko si Rayos Del Sol at sinamaan ng tingin. 'Di naman ako against sa kung sino ang nirereto niya kay Nikolai, but that's my brother, my little one! And Sebastian for all of people? Mabait at gwapo, I admit it, but... he's also hiding in the darkness. Isa pa, nag struggle pa ang kapatid ko sa buhay na mayro'n siya. Ayaw ko munang makita na mag struggle siya sa love life pati sa sarili niya.
“I'm not into man...” dahan-dahang wika ng kapatid ko.
“Oh, sure, sure.”
Sumipol na si Clay, nasa loob na ng kotse. “Tara na! Uwing-uwi na ako!”
“Alis na kami, Nikolai. Ingat ka.”
Tumango 'to. “Kayo rin, Ate.” pumasok na siya sa kotse, nang mawala na siya sa paningin namin ay do'n lang kami pumasok ni Rayos Del Sol sa kotse. Tumabi siya sa'kin sa back seat habang si Clay ang Driver.
Pagdating sa may gate nila ay umalis na rin agad si Clay, sa kanya pala 'yong kotse.
“Tara na.”
Entering the gate, we immediately saw Viperi carrying a box and being taken into a van. Rayos Del Sol's other men were also there, holding guns and wiping it. Seeing us, they quickly stood up and hid their guns.
Before I could ask Rayos Del Sol, he quickly pulled me inside the house.
“Magdinner muna tayo.”
We went to the kitchen, I sat on the chair while he went straight to the fridge and got some food. He warmed it up before giving me my portion.
“Time to dig in.”
Tumango ako. This is the last time na sabay kaming kakain na dalawa.
Only the clinking of cutlery can be heard here. He also feels my silence but he doesn't ask, he just ate and I did the same. When we finished eating, he washed the dishes. We went up together to his room.
“I'm just going to get clothes from Dahlia's room, she bought something new from Zara. Take a bath and I will join you later.”
“Okay.”
I went to the bathroom, undressed and prepared water in the bathtub. When I was able to put bubbles in it, I moved forward to the bathtub. Minutes passed when Rayos Del Sol came, bitbit na ang mga damit at nilapag sa isang basket. Naghubad na siya ng damit at tumabi sa'kin dito sa bathtub.
“You're so quiet today, sweetheart.”
“Do you really have to go to Vegas?" I suddenly asked here. "Do you have to take care of what you're saying yourself? Can't it just be here? Will you stay? I have a bad feeling about that, Rayos Del Sol...”
Totoo 'yon, feeling ko, ang mahalagang aasikasuhin niya ro'n ay about sa underworld thingy.
Tumawa siya nang mahina at kumuha na ang sabon. “'Di pwede, Esmee. Napakaimportante niyon. Isang buwan lang naman and after that, babalik na ako rito.”
“Paano kung sa loob ng isang buwan eh 'di ka bumalik?”
“Babalik ako.” sumeryoso na siya. “Kung magtagal man ako ro'n, sasabihin ko naman sa'yo. Pero babalik at babalik ako rito, 'di pwedeng hindi.”
Feeling ko may bumara sa'king lalamunan, natahimik ako. Gusto ko pa siyang pigilan pero may parte sa'kin na nagsasabi na magtiwala na lang sa kanya.
“Come here, let me wash your body.”
“Wash lang?”
Sumilay ang isang nakakalokong ngiti sa kanyang mukha.
“Hindi.”
Hinila na niya ako at binigyan ng isang halik. Isang halik lang, nagpa-angkin muli ako sa kanya.
“I will miss you, Esmee. Babalik ako, lagi akong babalik sa piling mo.”
Nagising ako dahil nakaramdam ako ng lamig sa tabi ko. Pag tingin ko sa tabing higaan ay wala na ro'n si Rayos Del Sol. Bumigat na naman ang dibdib ko, may letter akong nakita sa may side table at dinampot 'yon.
If you're reading this right now, nakaalis na ako riyan. Ingatan mo ang sarili mo, wala ako sa tabi mo para baby-hin ka. Laging kumain ng ayos, ah? Magpataba ka! Kidding, mahal kita kahit na butot-balat ka pa.
Anyway, kahit sa pag tulog ang ganda-ganda mo!
Sayang, ikakasal na tayo, eh. Pag balik ko, tuloy ang kasal!
In English they say, I miss you..
But in poetry we say, when I'm not with you, a big part of my life is lost.
I know, 'di bagay sa'kin ang magsulat ng ganito, pero deserve mo naman.
Smile ka na, love you.
Is it normal to cry while smiling? Because that's who I am now. Even if I want to follow him, I have a role as CEO here in the company. The only thing I can do is wait for him, it's only for a month.
The day passed quickly.
BINABASA MO ANG
Rings & Bullet
RomanceSTATUS: ON-HOLD A Mafia Story with HEA (of course) "Marriage is the only thing I don't want to happen in my life, but I guess I can't keep running away from destiny and him." HER - Being a 29 years old woman, I just want to have a happy life. Where...
