Free Reviews

The Armagen Hunter by @Rachellipson01

Genre: Fantasy

Summary: 'There is no death, only a change of worlds' - Chief Seattle. ~~~~~~~~~~I break away from my reverie as I hear footsteps echoing down the corridor. It stops just outside my cell and through a haze of tears I see the silhouette of three young soldiers, judging by their number of badges, I think one of them is a high ranking officer.."The Hunter?" I hear the soldier with the most number of badges growl. I furrow my eyebrows and listen with rapt attention, my heart thudding: Why do they want me? Of course I already know the answer."She's over there." The guard jerks his head to indicate that I'm apparently the biggest threat here. A sixteen year old girl. With no sense of her direction. Yeah, the world we're living in is pretty messed up. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cassandra is being hunted by the most feared creature in Meladonia, Amragen. Amragen are powerful creatures, they spread gloom and despair everywhere, they destroy every living thing they come across. (Basically they're evil)Plagued by dreams about Fallen Guardians and the Amragen Lord, Cassie is sent of to a mission which is practically impossible. Especially since she's a Hunter Of The Dark. As the name (probably) suggests, Hunters hunts the stuff that go bump in the dark (if only she knew how to) What happens when Cassandra unearths a dangerous secret? A secret which could lead to the doom of mankind and womankind? A secret to be taken to the grave, alive or dead?

Statistic Grade: 51% F

My grade: B-

You really need to be checking over your work! It's not a bad book. Honestly, the whole concept is amazing, and your character's general attitude adds to it. But your execution is off. You can just plug it in to Google and fix everything easily, without spending more than ten minutes on it. Your book is not that bad! It just needs someone to go over it with a brush and untangle it! 

Negatives: 

-First off, your summary is really long. Most people only see the first few lines, and not many like a teaser. They just want the summary. The underlined stuff is the necessary information, the bolded is less necessary. The rest isn't necessary, and isn't needed in your author's note, either. We already read it. 

-3 no link. I specifically ask for the link to make sure you follow the rules. It makes my job 5x easier, because I can pull up more pages easier. If you can't put up a link, I get it, but then please say so when you fill out the form. 

-7 for sentence structure. These were sentences that did not make sense, at least the way they were written. They could be changed slightly to form better sentences. 

-31  for commas. -Biggest issue- Please refer to my comma guide. This is a big problem, peoples! 

-11 for spelling/grammar. Please use spellcheck. Or Google the words you can't spell. You don't need to be a perfect speller to have perfect spelling in your writing. Pop it into a Docs and it will red squiggly underline every word you missed. 

-2 for punctuation. (Just because you have parenthesis, does not make you entitled to forget the punctuation afterwards.) 

-1 for apostrophes. Not a big problem. 

-5 for tense changes. This is a HUGE problem that points out that you didn't go over and edit. Watch your tenses~!!

-2 for capitalization. Again, not the biggest issue. 

*Oxford commas, please! Cringes**

*Note: I also think your end author's note is a bit long on each chapter. I like the questions, they get people engaged, but keep it strictly about this book. Anime and random puns/jokes, along with tag-your-it's,  aren't what we're reading book for, but they take up 1/4 of your chapters.  *

Positives:

+5 for an awesome lead. She is spunky, and I like her. 

+5 for an interesting plot. 

+3 for some of the questions you ask. The ones about the book do get your readers into it, the rest is excessive.

*Note: If you want me to, I can go through and point out all of the spelling, comma, and sentence structure problems, if it would help.*