Genre: Vamps
Summary: If you think the werewolves and the vampires are the bad boys, you haven't met me! The curse begins and ends with my decisions. I'm the queen~
Synopsis- 21 year old Elizabeth dreams of an angel but meets nightmare in disguise Alucard, the son of legendary Dracula. Mystical events happen eventually leading to the revelation of her past and true Identity.
Statistic grade: 78% C +
My grade: A-
Overall thoughts:
A really nice read, though a bit cliche (everyone loves cliche). There were some errors and style choices that made a paragraph hard to read or understand. Some general editing would be advised, but the plot and characters were thought-out and unique!
Negatives:
-18 for capitalization --biggest issue--
-8 for grammar
-15 for commas
-4 for word choice
-5 for text spelling (I took off a general 5 points after it kept reoccurring.) This was mainly "u" or "ur" instead of "you" and "your", or "yea" instead of "yeah". It just looks extremely unprofessional.
-1 for apostrophes
-7 for confusing or poorly written paragraphs
-4 for individual sentence structure
-4 for italics (all thoughts must be in italics)
-4 for punctuation
Total errors: 67
Notes
-The language she uses isn't consistent. Sometimes she makes up a swear ("Oh, cabbage patch!") and sometimes she actually swears. Both types aren't said out loud.
-Her name was never introduced, so when Casey says "El," I assumed it was a mistake until it happened again. And I couldn't figure out who Dot was. Introduce the full names right away, so it is easy to tell the nicknames and characters apart.
Positives:
+10 for good character arcs.
+15 for amazingly realistic dialogue. (Honestly, I loved the dialogue!)
+5 for POC characters
+5 for passing the Bechdel test, as well a the Lampshade test and the Mako-Mori test
+10 for introducing the plot and action right away
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