Free Reviews

The Last Scale by @terkaakret1

Genre: fantasy, short story 

Summary: As a rule, people behave worst to whom they envy. Who they admire.Underwater creatures like poor young Ignis are not subjects of respect and love. On the contrary, fishermen are hunting them by hundreds. Their scales are unimaginably desired goods. After all, humanity treats them like any other animal. They serve nothing but satisfying its needs.However, Ignis' scales do not share a monotonous brown color, now quite typical for her species. They shine with all shades of rainbow. As a result, she is still alive... And forced to survive the seemingly never-ending suffering while being subjected to a completely inhumane research.Who would have thought that her separation from her equal meant entering a world that should never be open to her? A world where intelligent thinking prevails over ancient animal instincts?

*I skipped the prologue as it was very short :) 

Statistic Grade: 95%  A

My Grade: A-

Overall thoughts:

While the English is pretty much flawless, the writing style is off just a bit. It doesn't seem to flow as well as I think it could, and the sentences were shorter and choppier at points than they needed to be. However, the plot points and descriptions were great, and there were few overall errors, and it pulled me in very well!

Negatives:

-1 for grammar

-7 for sentence structure/ word usage-- Biggest Issue--

-1  for spelling

-2 for comma

Total errors: 11

Positives (I'm being sparse with the positive points simply because you don't have many negatives!):

+1 for great descriptions (not over or under describing at all)

+2 for good hook

+2 for a really good summary

+1 for the representation of bad humans-I feel like this isn't exploited enough. 

Notes:

-Again, some of the sentences could have been a bit more fluid and written in a less choppy way. 

-One thing that really stood out to me was the bit about him understanding the English they were speaking. Then, once the argument between the "whites" and the "colors" happened, he couldn't understand everything. A few words of the conversations would have helped readers piece together what the argument was about and who the "colors" are. 

-The chapters were quite short. I feel like a few of them could be combined, and that it might help eliminate the choppy feeling. 

-I think your English is great! What is your first language and how long have you been learning? This is my third year of learning Spanish and I don't think I could be even close to as good as this.