Genre: Science fiction
Summary: "Hello there, I am Heather. If you are reading this then probably... I am not alive anymore. I know this may sound creepy, that I took my own life but, there was nothing else to do..........." Heather's life is so hard. everyone is judging her, no one is giving her any chance, and there where she decided to end all of this. it is all normal for now, but what is really weird is what happens with her after wards this. IN A BATTLE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH, WHO WINS?
The bold, italics are errors in your summary. I did not count these below.
Numbers Grade: 0%, F-
My Grade: F
Note: I can help you edit and rewrite this if you would like.
Negatives:
-1 for quotations. Onomatopoeias
-21 for commas. Again, refer to my comma guide.
-29 for capitalization. You. Need. To. Capitalize. The. Beginning. Of. Every. Sentence. This is not optional!! This was everywhere, and by far your biggest issue. Fifty percent of your readers will turn away after the third time this happens.(That's a guess. ) Very few people can actually look past this, and it is such a simple fix!
-15 for tense switching. This is 5 points off every time. It is really important to watch this, and is something people will always catch.
-5 for punctuation. All sentences, dialogue or not, need to end with a period, exclamation mark, or a question mark.
-8 for sentence structure. These sentences confused the heck out of me. All of them needed to be changed so we can understand what you are telling us.
-20 for spelling/grammar. Again, paste it into Google, or run in Translate and listen. It's not hard to catch and change, but is a major turn-off to potential readers.
-1 for confusion. Who is talking, asking her where she will go next? It never specifies and left me confused.
*Note: I decided to stop after 100 points against. This was about 3/4 of the way through the first chapter, where she met Jimmy's gang. I did not include the prologue.*
Positives:
Since I only got a little ways into the first chapter, I do not have any positives. I only met one character, heard about her parents, and that was it. I did not even know her name (besides the summary). Not much actually happened. I cannot find any positives about the story.
YOU ARE READING
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