I'm not fine ~ Randy

Chapter 9

I feel myself tense under Rye's touch. He immediately senses it and look up at me.

I give him a sad smile, silently begging him not to ask me about the scar. It seems like he understands and with a last glance he takes his arm back.

I were about to pull the sleeves down again, but Rye stops me.
"We have to wrap bandages around your arms again" He tells me.

I nod and we stand up to walk to the bathroom. Just as I step out of Rye's room, Brooklyn walks out of his and Jack's room.

I quickly try to hide myself behind Rye, scared of him seeing the scars on my arms, but it's too late.
Brooklyn has spotted me.

He frowns at me hiding from him. Scared I pull the sleeves down and stand beside Rye again, giving Brook a small, unsure smile.

I play with the hems of the hoodie sleeves, a habit of mine when I'm nervous. It seems like my little smile just made Brook more worried.

"He's probably just acting, he doesn't really care about you. Rye's just acting too. Nobody really cares about you"

Do you think so?

"Yes"

I look up at Brook and Rye again. Their concern look real. How can it look so real, when it's fake? Unless it is real.

"It's not"

Without meaning to, I give out a quiet whimper. I could feel tears threatening to fall, but I pushed them back.

I didn't want to break down again. Suddenly I was pulled into a warm and tight embrace.

Rye begins to whisper soothing things into my ear and I bury my head into his chest, clinging onto his shirt.

I hadn't noticed that my breath was irregular and as my chest and throat began to close up, I felt the panic rise.

I quickly pushed Rye away and began to cough loudly, wheezing every time I breathed in and out. I was having an asthma attack.

"Brook, find Andy's inhaler" I could hear Rye shout.

My feet gave up under me and I fell into Rye's embrace once again. He took me into his arms and slowly sank us down on the floor, me ending up on his lap.

Brook came back quickly with an inhaler in his hand. He gave it to Rye, who gave it to me.

I quickly opened the cap and turned it upright shaking it a few times. I took a deep breath, tilted my head slightly back and exhaled slowly before putting the mouthpiece to my mouth.

I pressed down on the canister, inhaling slowly and breathed in for three seconds. I held my breath for a little over ten seconds before I removed the mouthpiece from my mouth.

I could feel my throat loosen up and I sighed out in relief. I gave the inhaler back to Rye, who put on the cap again before giving it to Brook.

Brook handed Rye a water bottle and Rye helped me take some sips to rinse my mouth. I spat the water out in a bucket Brook also had gotten.

I repeated this a few times before I buried my head into Rye's chest again. I could feel my eyelids get heavy and it didn't take long before my eyes closed and I fell asleep in Rye's lap.