I'm not fine ~ Randy

Chapter 25

I woke up, drowsily looking around. Connor has moved us so we're now laying down, my head on his chest and a leg over his waist.

His arms are wrapped around me and his eyes are closed, indicating that he is most likely sleeping. I yawn shifting
uncomfortably in Connor's arms.

I usually love to cuddle, especially in this position, but with Connor, everything was just wrong.

His chest was too hard, but at the same time not hard enough. His breathing was too even and he was too quiet. I hated the quiet.

Connor also had his arms wrapped way too tight around me, squishing my body into his and almost making me unable to breathe.

I tried to wiggle myself out of his grasp making him stir and in turn making me instantly still. Connor's grip loosened a little and I instantly took the chance to get free.

Now I just had to get over him. I already had one leg over him so I just used my hand to push me up so that I was now sitting on his lower abdomen.

I was about to swing my other leg over and slip down on the floor when Connor stirred again. I froze watching his eyes blink open and a smile form on his face.

His arms snake around my waist and pull me down so I crash into his chest again. Connor gave out a content sigh and buries his head in my neck.

I just let him do whatever, already knowing I don't have the strength to argue anyway.

"I'm looking forward to waking up with you more often cupcake" Connor whispers huskily in my ear, his warm breath hitting my neck and making goosebumps appear.

Even though Connor wasn't Rye, he wasn't too bad. Even though he had forced this relationship on me I could understand why.

They just wanted what was best for Rye and that was to be with Caroline and he couldn't be with Caroline when he felt the need to watch me all the time.

Connor was just kind enough to sacrifice himself and be with me so Rye didn't have too. I wish Connor and Rye would genuinely care about me though, but that was all it was, a wish.

"Hey cupcake, you alright?" Connor asks, making me zone back into reality.

Connor begins to gently stroke my hair and this he did perfectly. It was now my turn to sigh contently and I snuggle back into him almost forgetting that I was with Connor and not Rye for a second. Rye would always stroke my hair when we cuddled.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I whisper tiredly into Connor's chest.

Connor uses his free hand to lift my head up.

"You sure?" He asks softly.

I just nod and look into his eyes. There was no denying that Connor's eyes are beautiful.

They almost compare to Rye's eyes, but only almost. I had yet to find someone with prettier eyes than Rye's brown ones.

Suddenly I could see Connor's face moving closer, stopping right in front of mine, noses touching. I could pull away, but I didn't.

Even though I knew Connor didn't like me nor cared for me, he acted like it and that was all I had ever dreamed of so I was just basking in the attention.

I had always dreamed of having a boyfriend to cuddle with and kiss, and even though this was fake I was going to enjoy every second of it.

I didn't even hear the door open, I was just too focused on Connor and how close he was. Maybe I wouldn't have reached forward the extra space if I knew the consequences, but I did.

Connor's lips softly touched mine for a second before an angry cough was heard.