I'm not fine ~ Randy

Chapter 29

Rye had shifted the position I was held in and I was now clinging to the left side of him.

My head was laying on his shoulder, my arms still wrapped around his neck, legs wrapped around his waist and his arm was holding me up by the underside of my thigh.

We have reached the flat and I can feel myself getting nervous.

This was a stupid idea. Rye's too protective, he's going to figure out what I'm doing.

"Rye may be protective, but your way to deceiving to not fool him. Just stick to the plan and you'll finally be free"

I didn't realize I had let out a sigh before I could feel Rye's head turn to look at me.

"What you thinking about Andy?" He asks cautiously and I know he's waiting to see if I'm going to lie to him.

"Nothing Rye, just the usual thoughts" I reply trying to sound as believable as possible.

I'm technically not lying either because I am having the usual conversation with the voice, but the subject is just a little different from usual.

When I think about it, this is actually pretty similar to last time I had this conversation. Having to come up with a plan, lie and try to fool everyone around me just to get those few minutes to execute it.

Rye hums at my answer, not sounding totally convinced but letting it go. He opens the door carefully with his right hand and steps inside the flat.

He carries me towards my and Mikey's room and when he steps inside every head in the room turn towards us.

I bury my head in Rye's neck trying to ignore the stares and press my body against his seeking comfort. Rye notices this and wraps both of his arms around me, pressing me even more into him and to more easily hold my body up.

I can hear someone stand up and come towards us. I peek out from Rye's neck and see it's Mikey. The only expression on his face screaming guilt. Why is he feeling guilty?

"Andy I'm so sorry for yelling at you. Connor explained everything to me again after with more details, but I should have believed you the first time. I guess I was just so worried and stressed that when I saw you just sitting there with a boy looking completely fine something just snapped. I shouldn't have taken it out on you, I didn't mean anything I said and I hope you can forgive me" He burst out while a lone tear was running down his cheek.

I remove my face completely from Rye's neck and give Mikey a bright smile. I know the others probably made him say it, but I had to pretend it was real to make the plan easier to execute.

If I pretended everything they say is true than I could more easily block the voice out, more easily pretend that everything was okay and not get that big temptation of harming myself.

"It's okay Mikey, no harm done. I understand that you were stressed and worried and couldn't help but take it out on me, it's fine. I forgive you" I slipped out of Rye's arms, a little resistance and a whine from said person, and gave Mikey a hug to reassure him that I meant what I said.

Mikey hugged me tightly back and buried his head in my shoulder. I saw Brook and Jack sitting behind him, no sign of Connor and Caroline though, and motioned for the two to join the hug.

Both of them jumped off the couch and nearly sprinted towards us. The impact from when they reached us would have sent us flying down on the ground if it wasn't for Rye backing us up from behind me.

We hugged for a long time before we decided on watching a movie together to relax from all the stress from the last couple of days.

We decided on finding Nemo, because why not? As the other went to get snacks and stuff, I picked out some new clothes and went to the bathroom to change.

As I was leaving the room Rye looked at the clothes in my hand and frowned before stopping me. He sprinted towards his room before coming back with my favorite hoodie of his in his hands.

He put it in my hands, taking the other hoodie away and gave me a smile and a kiss on my forehead. I smiled up at him and continued my walk to the bathroom.

I opened the door before locking it. I began undressing slowly and when I was done I had to close my eyes to not look in the mirror at my awful body.

If I did it could ruin my plans and that could not happen. I fumbled after the clothes I had placed on the closed toilet lid and began putting on the new clothes a little clumsily.

When I was done I put the dirty clothes in the laundry basket and unlocked the door to walk to the living room. I saw that everyone had placed themselves around and Rye patted the seat beside himself on my bed.

I quietly walked towards him and plopped down beside him, instantly snuggling into his side before focusing my attention on the TV.

And so the movie began.