I'm not fine ~ Randy

Chapter 27

I could hear slight mumbling in the background of my mind. I open my eyes, that I hadn't even realized I had closed, and try to look around but my vision is just too blurry.

I try to blink the blurriness away and can eventually manage to see Brook's worried face in front of me, his mouth moving but I can't hear what he's saying.

My mind hasn't registered that the screaming has stopped and therefore my hands are still clutching my ears.

My mind tries to figure out what Brook is saying without having to remove my hands, still scared of the screaming.

Not Mikey's screaming, but the screaming of the voice. I look at Brook's lips intensively but realize my mistake when the voice answers instead of my brain.

"He's probably screaming at you too. Now that Mikey has told you how he really feels, Brook probably saw the chance to be able to tell you too. Rye will probably walk through that door any second now too and when he realizes what's going on he will also tell you the truth. Tell you how he never liked you, how much he actually hates you and that he wishes you were dead. The others will probably join in too, telling you how much of a nuisance you are, how fat you are and how much of a disappointment you really are. I'm so looking forward to when you end it tonight. The others will be so pleased when they find out that they don't have to deal wi..."

Suddenly my hands are being preyed of my ears and are captured in the culprit's hands. I can now hear Brook and Connor mumbling something that sounds like my name, but it's soon blocked out by a loud ringing noise.

I try to flinch away from the hands holding mine, only to realize someone has a secure hold around my waist making me unable to move. I begin to hyperventilate and cough trying to free myself from the grasp.

When the hold loosens enough I free myself by throwing myself forward, only realizing I did yet another mistake when I fall to the floor, my body making a loud bang when it comes in contact with the hard wood.

I try not to let a whimper fall out and bite my lip so hard it draws blood. I can feel the substance hitting my tongue and the slight stinging from my lower lip, but I can also feel the slight satisfaction that comes with harming myself.

I can see a hand coming into my vision, almost touching my shoulder before I flinch away again. This time I bang my head into the bed behind me and I give out a slight whimper from the impact, my head now pounding loudly.

I try to make myself as small as possible by pushing my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I look around at the people in front of me.

Connor is sitting right in front of me, his hand slightly stretched towards me so I'm guessing he was the one trying to touch me. His face is clearly faking worriedness and when I look at the others their faces hold the same expression.

I know now for sure that not one bit of their concern is true though. They all hate me, most likely wishing me dead or at least gone from their life. I can't wait to fulfill that wish.

"ndy..An...Andy!" I hear a muffled voice call out desperately.

Connor's hand is moving towards me again, but when I flinch away for a third time, almost banging my head again, he hesitantly pulls it back.

"Can you hear me Andy?" I can hear Brook's voice say, he's now crouching in front of me beside Connor.

I try to answer, but it's like my lips are glued together refusing to let go of each other. I end up just giving him a curt nod.

"Okay, that's good" Brook whispers quietly, his voice barely audible.

I just give him a slight nod again before feeling something drip from my chin. I bring my hand up and can feel my fingertips get wet when they touch my cheek.

I hadn't even realized I was crying. I quickly use the back of my hands to try and get rid of the tear tracks. I try to ignore the stares from the other boys, but it's almost impossible when they are all staring me down.

I look up at them again to examine their faces. Connor's face is a combination of concern and anger.

"He's probably mad at you for being so dramatic and making an unnecessary scene."

Brook's face is also full of concern but also with a tint of both anger and sadness.

"He's most likely also mad at you for making such a scene and sad that you didn't just faint when you banged your head so they could have left"

I look up at Jack, waiting for the voice to tell me the truth again. It's like a drug that I just can't get enough of.

Even when I know how toxic it is for me I just want more, maybe more than I can actually get. I am determined to finally get the truth now that I have the chance and when I get the truth I can finally die peacefully.

I zone back in again when I hear Brook's voice call out for me.

"Andy, can you please tell me what you're thinking about?" He asks carefully, taking a small step towards me.

I just look up at him with a blank face, but I don't try to back away.

"Please Andy, you're scaring us" He tells me sadly but scared.

His eyes are starting to get glossy and his lower lip is slightly wobbly.

"Do you hear that? You're scaring them now too. No wonder they don't like you"

I clench my jaw and my hands are turning into fists. A sudden wave of anger just rolls over me. My mouth suddenly opens and I speak before even thinking about what I'm saying.

"Get away from me" I hiss out through gritted teeth.

"W-what?" Brook says unsurely, taking a step towards me again.

"Are you deaf? I said get away from me! I don't want your help nor your pity, so just leave me alone" I scream at him getting up from my previous position.

I'm now stood glaring at them, my chest heaving. I make a quick decision if I should stay or not before brushing harshly past them leaving them shocked behind me.

I step out in the hall and crash into a hard chest. I glare up at a shocked Rye before trying to brush past him too, but I don't get far before his hand close around my wrist. I quickly yank it out and turn around to glare at him again.

"Andy? Are you okay?" He asks shocked and confused.  

I roll my eyes at the dumb question.

"Of course I'm okay Rye, everything is just happiness and rainbows" I say sarcastically before turning around again and sprinting out the door.

~~~~~
Okay, so I've decided that I'm going to make a second book as a continuation from the end of this one, which means that this book is soon coming to an end. I also want to say a quick thank you to everyone that has read, voted and commented on this story because it means a lot to me. I should have maybe like made a chapter saying thanks and such, but I'm not really good at expressing feelings nor being social and stuff lol so this is all your going to get, sorry not sorry. Don't know when the next chapter is going to come out, but hopefully I will get it out soon x