Violet Nights

Chapter 5

Keith's apartment was rather clean for him living on his own. Then again, he wasn't much of a party animal or a junky so he kept it fairly clean with an exception of some stray t-shirts lying around on the couch. It was a rather small apartment, but he liked it because it was big enough for him and easy to clean. His neighbors were quiet and he had a nice view of the city from his small balcony. At night was when it was the most beautiful. The small sparkles of the city street lights and cars racing down the streets, police sirens softly flowing through the air and the brisk but cool breeze that blew his violet curtains around. 

Keith opened the screen door to his balcony and pulled his little wooden chair out to the edge of the railing. He stood on it and balanced himself on the wall before sitting on the edge of the railing, his back against the bare wall. He reached into his pocket for a cigarette and lit it, placing it between his lips. 

He didn't smoke that often but it was when he had something on his mind that he wanted to clear. That and he did so when he was going through a serious depression, but serious depression usually resulted in alcohol abuse and slight self-harm as well. It was a good thing he lived alone and no Shiro around to tell him that he needed to stop and get help. He didn't need help. He didn't want it. He wanted to deal with his depression in his own way, even if smoke was what it took to clear his suicidal thoughts.

When the last of the bud had been burnt out, Keith took a last exhale of smoke before tossing the empty bud into a trashcan. He slipped down from the balcony railing and made his way back inside the apartment, shutting the screen door behind him. Not only was he feeling physically weak, but his mentality had been lowered because of how tired he had become within the past hour or two. 

He did his usual routine of changing into some more comfortable clothes--preferably a pair of shorts and a t-shirt-- washing his face and removing any makeup he might have worn that day--most likely eyeliner. While finishing, he climbed into his bed and pulled the sheets over himself. 

Falling asleep seemed like a chore to him. Though he was tired, he couldn't ever fall asleep. On average, it took a human 6 minutes to fall asleep without company of technology or light, but for Keith, it took longer than 30 minutes. He would often stare up at the ceiling fan rocking back and forth, gripping the sheets to his face and curling up awgainst a body pillow--which he had to comfort himself when sleep paralysis decided to be a dick to him. 

The same pattern of listening to the steady rocking of the fan, clicking of the clock, songs of the frogs outside his window-- it all seemed so everlasting. He was in a loop every night of confusion and pleading for sleep to come and it never would. 

Insomnia sucks.