I Hate You I Love You// James Potter X Reader

Seventeen

Y/n looked at Sirius,
"You too,go make him a company"
She orderd,
"But-
"Do as I say,Sirius"
"Y/n-
"Sirius Orion Black"
"Fine..."
He whined than ran away to catch up with James.
"Shall I go to...?"
Peter asked,Y/n shuggerd, Peter walked away anyways.
"How did you do that?"
Remus asked,
"Talent" she answerd,he grinned...

James's P.O.V

He walked away to his dorm madly and sadly.
He hated to admit it but Remus was right.

Still...
Wasn't she a little too harsh on him?

"I could explain but you dont care abou that shit, I could confess but you dont trust that shit
I have this feelings,
But you never mind that shit"

[..]

Y/n was reading a book about transfigurations,for you know what..
Suddenly,a Jet black haired boy set next to her.
"What?"
She asked,not moving her eyes away from book.
"Im sorry..."
He said it in tone like it was something hard to say,wich she understood, sience he had ego as big as he did...
"Fine"
"Wait- what?"
He asked in disbelief.
"You're forgiven"
She said simply.
"Really!?"
Do you miss me like I miss you..?
"Yeah now stop intterupting my reading before I change my mind"
She said emotionless-ly.
"Woah,why such a cold shoulder?"
He asked,crossing his arms like a five year old,that was the moment she looked away from her book,at him.
"Why can't you just be a cuddly and huggy and lovely and adorable girl you were this whole week?!"
He asked,anger appearing
n his voice.
"Scars."
Y/n said,without thinking, noticing her words she just grabbed her book and tryed to ran away,but no.

He grabbed her by shoulder.
"Tell me what scars,now"
He said calmly,
"I don't have to"
Y/n said,crossing her arms.
"Well I won't let you go untill you tell me!"
He said,damn,why was he so strongheaded!?

,Sielence

"Say something"
He said after a few seconds, and y/n who was barley holding tears said one weak
"Something..."
He hided his grin than countinued.
She finally founded strainght to show him her wrist that was full of scars.
"you...you cut yourself...?"
he asked in disbelief.
"Of course not,dummy"
She said than smiled weakly.
"what are these than...? I saw your wrist a few days ago and they wasnt there"
He said,
"Its kind of an illness... Mental scar causses a real scar appearing on my wrist. my mind blowed self didnt remember any of these mental scars,she was-I was so pure,I didn't worry for any of them,or scared of them,traumatised,or scared that other ones will appear.Do you get it now!?"
Y/n asked,aggresivly pulling her hand away from his one.
"How does that scar thing work? Explain it to me"
He said,or better say it - ordered.
She showed him her wrist again.
"This one was created by mother,at my very young age. This one was created when cousin Bellatrix yelled at me and teard apart my favorite plushie.... This one was created when you snogged Lily Evans, this one was created when you messed with my feelings,this one was maden when I found out my brothers doeant give a shit about me. You get it now? Leave me alone."
She said than stormed out of the common room.

It's so unfair.

"Im feeling so used....But Im still missing you.."
She whisperd to herself

Y/n walked out of the castle,
she was resting her legs in the lake,it felt nice.
She didn't want to cry...
She truly wished to forget all that bad things that happent...
Suddenly,she felt someone pushing her in the lake.
She didn't know who,but she was going deep down,she closed her eyes,it was so silent down there,inly the sound of popping bubbles when a fish would swim near by,it felt like having a deserved peace,kind of a peace that she never got to experiment...

She wished she could stay there forever, but no... she had to keep going wit her life. She didnt even notice that she had lost the air.
She opend her eyes and heard
"She's not swimming back!!!"
"Oh Hell If she drowns down there We'll be expelled!"
"I Don't see her anymore!!"
She just closed them again,she smiled,she knew she was nearly drowning,but she was toonlazy to get out,but she also knew that...

It wasn't the end... And also that someone will probably get her out.
And she wanted to guys who pushed her to get punished as fuck too.