His to Protect // Bellamy Blake

Chapter 16: Bellamy's Secret

My mouth opened but I wasn't sure what to say, so I took my time to formulate my thoughts.

I sighed loudly, sinking down onto Bellamy's bed. She followed suit, sitting across from me.

"I don't know, O." I reply sadly. "I get this feeling when I'm around him I can't ignore anymore. It's hard to explain, and I know he doesn't feel the same way."

"Violet, you don't know that. He treats you differently than all the other girls he's been with down here. I realize my brother sleeps around, but he's never actively protected them or cared for them like he has with you." She replies, grabbing my hands. "You're different."

"I think that's just because I'm your friend. He's made it clear that he doesn't have feelings for me in that manner." I reply, looking away. "I'll just have to deal with it."

"V, you're crazy if you can't see the way he looks at you." She replies exacerbated. "I've seen you two making googly eyes at each other for a while now."

We were suddenly interrupted when Clarke furiously pushed back the tent flaps. Finn was quick on her heels.

"What the hell?" Octavia exclaimed.

"Where the hell is Bellamy?" Clarke asks, looking at Octavia.

"He took off a while ago," I reply for her, wondering what she was upset about. "Why?"

"He told everyone to stay here. Whatever is in the dropship, he wants it." She says unbelieving. "We've got to get there before he does."

Octavia and I shared a worried look as both Clarke and Finn ran out of the tent. They were obviously going after Bellamy.

"Do you think they're right?" I ask.

"Bellamy's hiding something, I have to go after him." Octavia states worried.

"You're not going alone, it's not safe." I say unchanging.

She grabs my hands, squeezing them tightly.

"I don't know what I'd do without you!"

We took off quickly, and Octavia was able to easily navigate the paths Bellamy would have used. It felt weird to be back out in these woods once again in an urgent situation. We both moved at a swift pace, and eventually I could hear his soft but continuous footsteps pound on the ground.

"Bellamy!" I called out winded.

I could see his figure now, and he stopped and quickly turned around.

"What are you doing?" Octavia questions him.

He looks at the two of us unbelievingly.

"Go back to camp, it isn't safe." He demands.

"You lied to everyone. You lied to me," Octavia states looking hurt. "You just want whatever's in that pod."

He pushed Octavia back forcefully and yells, "Just go home."

"Bellamy," I call out desperate to get his attention, even putting my hand on his shoulder. "What's going on?"

He ignores my calls, shrugging my hand off his body.

"You always want to play big brother, huh? Well, jokes on me. You're just a selfish dick." Octavia calls out.

The panic I was feeling now crept up my throat, and I was breathing heavily. I'm sure the feeling was evident on my face.

"Bellamy," I call out, but my voice was too quiet to be heard over their argument.

"I did this for you, to protect YOU," He shoots back at Octavia. "If the ark finds out we're alive they'll come down and when they do I'm dead."

"What did you do?" Octavia asks, concerned. I waited breathlessly for his reply, not wanting it to be terrible.

"I shot him," Bellamy says quietly, looking down at the ground. "I shot Jaha."

"What?" Octavia's quiet voice replies, breaking.

He finally meets my eyes, and searches my face for a reaction.

I couldn't breathe. I tried letting in air but my lungs wouldn't budge. They felt like they were on fire, and I wanted the horrible pain to end.

"Violet, you need to breathe" His voice is in my ear, and I feel his hands rubbing and moving up my back. I wanted him to remove them, disgusted that he could do something like that to another person but I couldn't move. "V, please understand."

I finally found the strength to push myself away from him, and walked right into the arms of a shaking Octavia.

"I found out they were sending Octavia to earth, and I couldn't let her go alone. Someone came to me with a deal- Do this, kill him- and they'd get me on the dropship." Bellamy states, trying to explain himself.

"You killed the chancellor?" She says furious.

"He floated our mother! He locked you up!"

"I didn't ask you to do that!" She replies, her face betraying all the emotions she was feeling at once.

"You're right, this is on me. Whatever they sent down, I'll deal with it," He replies as if trying to convince himself what he was doing was ok.

I felt his hesitation and his gaze on my face, begging my to look over. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, and instead buried my head into Octavia's shoulder to upset to confront him with my real feelings.

Octavia takes my hand, and we turn in the direction of camp heading back without Bellamy.

We walked slowly, not talking. I felt an aching in my heart I had not felt since my father had died. I felt like Bellamy had shot me with an arrow to the chest with his shocking revelation. I knew Bellamy wasn't a knight in shining armor, but I never thought he was capable of this. It made me wonder if this was the reason why he kept pushing me away. There were many instances in which he had hinted at something dark he had done, yet I had never thought his cold and distant demeanor towards me was because of this merciless act.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I wasn't expecting to be yanked down when Octavia lost her footing. She started to tumble down a small cliff, and I was unable to gain my balance enough to stop my descent as well. I felt my whole body tumble down hitting rocks and tree branches along the way.

When my body finally came to a stop, I felt my consciousness slowly start to fade. However, I knew I wasn't mistaken when I spotted a grounder hovering over the body of my best friend.