hømetøwn

• : / forty four / : •

Well, fuck.

The heat was immediate, everywhere, overwhelming. A scream burst out my lips. I stumbled backwards, falling into my mother, smoke crawling up my nose, in my mouth –

"Untie her!" Brendon shouted.

I scrambled with the ropes, tearing them from my mother's skin. When her hands were free she clawed at the duct tape, ripping it off her lips. Blood ran down her chin in scarlet rivulets.

"Lake," she shrieked.

"Mom," I tried to say back, but it came out as a sob.

Fire tore up the walls. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, the ground was scalding beneath my feet. I grabbed my mom by the shoulders and buried my head in her chest, chest heaving – we were going to die, we were going to die, we were going to die.

Then the air was shattered by the sound of breaking glass.

"Here!" Brendon yelled.

He was at the window. His fist dripped blood.

I grabbed my mother and dragged her to her feet. We stumbled to the window, where Brendon took her other hand and helped guide her over the shards of glass. We were a floor above ground, but that didn't mean much since the room was burning.

"You have to try and climb down," said Brendon, his voice rasping. "Go, go –"

Mom clambered out the window, her hands slicing into the glass.

"Here, take my hand," Brendon gasped, leaning forward. She hung from his fingertips, giving her just enough height to climb to the gutter.

"Now you, Lake," said Brendon. His eyes were fogged with smoke, red at the edges.

"How are you going to reach the gutter? How are you going to get down safely?"

"I'll figure it out."

"You're not tall enough –"

"Is now really the time to take shots at my height?"

"Stop! Fucking stop! Don't joke about this, you have to go –"

The fire was at our heels, snarling and ripping at our backs. My head was hazy. I could barely see straight, barely think straight, all I knew was I couldn't leave without Brendon.

"We'll climb out together," I said. "I'm not climbing down until you're out, I'm not taking your hand, you're coming out with me –"

"Fucking fine just go fucking go! We can't both fit through –"

So I crawled through the hole in the window. Glass shards snapped in my palms and the shingles slipped under my feet and I turned to help Brendon out –

And he was gone.

Smoke whirled out the window. A scream latched in my throat, caught there and burned, burned and burned and burned and burned –

I was huddled there, shaking on the rooftop, when I heard the first wail of a siren.

***

This felt all too familiar.

"He's upstairs he's upstairs you have to get him he's trapped Jesus Christ he's trapped Connor did this Josh did this they did this it wasn't me it wasn't me help them help them please –"

"Ma'am, we need you to remain calm."

Lights blinked, white and crunching on my every side. I felt the road underneath me, underneath the floor of the ambulance, stretching and rolling below, but all I knew was panic, I wasn't leaving, I couldn't leave, because Brendon was still inside. I saw his face, that steeled expression right before I climbed out the window. I should have waited. I should have made him go through first. I should have done something --

There's a woman by my side. She smells like rubber and soap. Her cool hand closes around my elbow.

"Take deep breaths, sweet heart," she says, as though from down a long tunnel. "This is just gonna pinch."

I feel the needle push through my skin, feel the sickly warmth spread through my veins. Fight it, fight it, fight it.

"You've been through a traumatic event today," says the woman, in that same distant, blurring voice. "We'll fix you up. You just need to rest."

Fight it, fight it, fight it.

The lights blink overhead. I hear the sirens, the pitches bending and crawling together, more color than sound. I hear my mother groan somewhere behind me. I see Brendon, that look on his face, that fear, then I see him eating ice cream across from me, making bad puns and leaning in to kiss me. 

The darkness starts at the edges. It creeps in my vision, battles against the blinking lights.

Every bit of me aches.

I see Josh, the outline of his face on the rooftop, the shape of his mouth when he was telling me secrets. He was part of this. He did this to me. He did this to us.

I feel matches between my fingers and flames licking my skin. I hear my mother's voice, feel my cheek against her collarbone, sobs tearing out my lungs. 

The darkness is growing. A cloud, melting into my pupils. And now I'm not looking at the lights, I am the lights, blinking, blinking, blinking, out. 

---

isn't it just your favorite thing when the author leaves you on a cliffhanger for over a year

(i'm so sorry)

(i hope this makes up for it)

(i love you)

kelsey