This Is How I Disappear (Negan/OFC)

Chapter 31

Chuck paces around Negan's office, waiting for him to enter. She's worried about what he will say to her after he has seen her walking out of Simon's room.

Negan didn't specifically tell me that I couldn't talk to him. Simon was under house arrest, though, I guess. I probably should have checked with Negan first... But I just really wanted Simon to know I was sorry about hurting him.

Ugh.

What Simon had said about Negan is rattling through her mind, too.

Is Negan in love with me? Simon thinks he is. And he's known him for... forever, so he would know, right? Could Negan really love me that way?

No. He wouldn't. He cares about me, but actual love? Like love love? I don't think so. I can't allow myself to even consider that because I know I'd fall for him if I do. And it would hurt me too much when he decided he doesn't want me anymore.

No. Our relationship has to stay the same. No "I love yous". Just... more of what we've been doing. That's... safer.

She starts to chew on her nails when the door to the office opens and Negan walks in. He shuts the door after himself and turns back around to her.

"I can explain," she blurts out.

"No need," he answers simply. "I know why you were there."

"Are you angry?"

"No, I'm not fuckin' angry." He walks closer to her and cups her cheek with his free hand, his other still grasping Lucille. "I know that it would eat you up if you thought Simon was fuckin' hurt." He gives her a sweet kiss and then heads into his bedroom. He sets Lucille on the coffee table and plops down on the couch.

Chuck follows behind him and sits next to him. "What did Simon say to you?"

Negan lets out a sigh and unzips his jacket. "He called me a fuckin' dick for keeping this from him."

"Oh," she responds sadly. The thought that she had caused a rift between two good friends is upsetting to her.

"We hashed it out. Everything's peachy-fuckin'-keen now. He's back to fuckin' work, so don't worry your pretty little head about it anymore." He bends down and scoops up her legs, pulling them up so that her feet are resting in his lap. "What the fuck are these?" He points to her purple converses.

"They're my Chucks. Chuck's Chucks." She chortles.

He lets out a chuckle as he starts to untie her shoes and pulls them off her feet. "I'm not quite sure they go with this whole fuckin' ensemble." He gestures to her dress.

She giggles then shrugs. "I was in a hurry. I didn't really think that much about it."

Negan begins to rub her feet. "I liked those heels you wore before."

"You'll have to check the closet to see if we have a pair of them in your size," she jokes.

He gives her a disapproving look. "Very fuckin' funny." He turns his head back to her feet as he continues to rub them.

"Mmm," she moans. "That feels really good."

"You ever have your feet fuckin' rubbed before?"

"No."

"That's a fuckin' shame. You got cute ass feet."

Chuck can feel herself becoming wet at the feel of Negan's hands on her. She figures it's her hormones that are making her be "in the mood" so much as of late, but she still isn't confident enough to just come out and ask Negan for sex. Especially if he isn't in the mood, too. If he rejected her advances, her self esteem would take a hit. She wonders if she can prod him into making the first move without being too obvious about it.