This Is How I Disappear (Negan/OFC)

Chapter 38

Chuck sits on the couch staring at the tv screen, her mind miles away as the video game that she was playing is left on the pause screen. Earlier, she thought that the game would get her mind off of what happened last night. And what is going to happen when Negan gets back. But her mind is still preoccupied.

Brendon. Negan is off at Alexandria to pick up Brendon and bring him back here. And he's going to kill him. In front of everyone.

Chuck doesn't like it. She hates that in this new world, killing is so commonplace. That death is something that people should just accept. In her life before the turn, in her small home town, decades passed without a single murder. And there were maybe one or two lives cut short by car accidents or something like that a year. People grew old. People died of the normal things. But now... People are torn apart by the dead. People get killed for food. People murder. And people are executed brutally.

But she knows that it has to happen. Brendon needs to die. For a lot of reasons. As punishment for what he did. To stop him from doing it again. To deter others from committing similar acts. Yes, Brendon needs to be executed. But it's still horrible.

Chuck gives up on her game and leaves to go to the lounge. Maybe the wives can help her make sense of everything. On her way there, she passes Curly the cat leaving their litter box room. About a week ago, Negan moved the cats' litter boxes out of his office and into a small room down the hall, since the cats are getting bigger and "shitting too much," so Negan said. But since the litter boxes are elsewhere, the cats essentially have to have free reign of the entire floor. And the wives don't mind. Everyone keeps their doors open for the cats and enjoys to cuddle with them. And the cats love all the new beds and couches they can sleep on.

Chuck walks into the lounge and gives the women a little wave before she sits down. Tonya is busy in the middle of the room cutting Sherry's hair and Frankie and Kayla are sitting on the couch nearest to them, with Creamsicle sleeping on the arm beside them.

Kayla gets up and comes right over to Chuck. "How are you doing?" she asks sympathetically and sits down beside her. The wives were there when Aaron said that Brendon was at Alexandria. And they also knew that Negan left to bring him back. Chuck figures that they are probably a little worried about the situation and how Chuck is handling it.

Chuck tries to smile genuinely. "I'm fine."

"Negan didn't get back yet?" Sherry asks tentatively.

"Not yet," Chuck answers. "So, um..." Chuck lets out a nervous breath. "So, what do you guys think about, you know, Brendon and all." She wants to get their take on it, feeling that maybe it will help her with her own feelings.

"I'm glad Negan's gonna kill that bastard for what he did," Tonya answers quickly.

"Yeah," Frankie agrees. "He deserves what's coming to him."

"You guys don't feel... bad for thinking that?"

Everyone looks to Chuck with confusion written all over their faces.

Kayla grabs Chuck's hand and holds it tightly. "It's hard to get used to the brutality of this world. But if you really think about all of human history, brutality was the norm for most of it. I mean, I remember learning about the Middle Ages in school!" She chuckles and it lightens the mood a little. "Maybe someday we'll get back to trials and juries and fines, but right now? This is the way things have to be."

Chuck nods. "Yeah. That makes sense."

"You just can't dwell on it," Sherry adds as Tonya finishes up with her hair. "You can't let it eat you up, okay, Chuck? Brendon broke the rules. And he hurt you. His punishment is justified." Sherry gets up and walks over to Chuck. "It's justified, Chuck. Focus on that."