This Is How I Disappear (Negan/OFC)

Chapter 16

——— Negan's POV ———

Shit! What the fuck was that?!

I watch Chuck fuckin' stomp around the corner to go back to the infirmary. But It's like my own feet are filled with fuckin' cement. I can't move to fucking go after her because I am so fucking confused about what just happened.

Is she really that pissed at me? What the fuck did I do? I didn't fuckin' grab her that hard. Fuck!

I'll give her her fuckin' space, I guess. What-the-fuck-ever.

I wander around for a while, but the whole thing fuckin' rubbed me the wrong way. I want some goddamn answers, but I don't want to take Chuck out of the infirmary again. I'm sure she has her fuckin' hands full with Mark. Maybe something happened when she got Mark to the infirmary. Simon was fuckin' there. Maybe he saw something. Maybe she said something to him.

"Simon. Where the fuck you at?" I yell into the radio.

"My room. You need me?"

"Just stay there."

I walk up to the fourth fuckin' floor and right into Simon's room. He's sitting at his table finishing up his fuckin' dinner, I guess.

"Shit, man. I thought you said you didn't need me," he says with a full mouth.

I don't answer him, but I must've still had a confused look on my face because Simon asks about it.

"Something up?" Simon pushes his plate away from himself and looks up at me.

I take the chair across from him and plop myself down, staring back at him. I'm wrestling with whether or not I should even fucking talk about Chuck with him, considering he's in love with her... And doesn't know I fuck her... But I want to know why she flipped the fuck out. Simon might have fuckin' insight on that since he helped get Mark to the infirmary and saw her before I did.

"Nah. Shit's fine," is all I manage to say.

"Good." Simon looks at me. Waiting for me to say something further.

"Any problems getting what's-his-face to the fuckin' infirmary?"

"No." He scratches his head and stares me right in the eyes. "Chuck seemed upset, though."

"Yeah. I fuckin' gathered that because I just tried to talk to her and she freaked the fuck out."

"What happened?" he asks quickly.

"She wouldn't fuckin' talk to me."

"What happened exactly?"

I let out a huff. "I saw her in the caf waiting in line, so I helped her carry doc's food to the infirmary. Then I tried to fuckin' talk to her and she wouldn't. I asked her what was wrong and she fuckin' pushed me away and stomped off."

"Pushed you away? Like with her hands or metaphorically?"

"With her fuckin' hands. She yelled at me not to grab her."

He raises his eyebrows. "Did you grab her?"

"Not really." I scratch my beard and lean back in my chair with a shrug. "She walked away from me and I... I just wanted to fuckin' talk to her, so I turned her back around."

Simon looks pissed. Shit. This was a bad idea.

"You would've killed anyone else if they had done that to her. Touched her like that."

I just stare back at him. He's probably right, but I'm not going to admit that.

He leans forward in his seat. "I can't believe you put your hands on her. After what she just watched you do. She was probably scared of you! Having flashbacks of what those guys did to her at that nursing home! Just like with Andy." He shakes his fuckin' head and huffs out a breath as he leans back.