This Is How I Disappear (Negan/OFC)

Chapter 44

——— Negan's POV ———

Fuck, it's kinda cold out here. I'm standing at my gate like a fuckin' idiot waiting for Rick to get here. My guys outside the gate radioed in and said he'd be pulling up any damn minute now. It's his first time here, and I wanna make the right impression. Namely, I want him to see that I am on top of my shit. And I want him to think of The Sanctuary as the fuckin' powerhouse it is. A well oiled machine. A fortress. Not a place to fuck with.

Not that I think Rick's a threat. Even if we hated each other's guts, I think I could fuckin' take him. But we're not enemies. Surprisingly. We've actually been working together fuckin' well, his men and mine. Me and him might be different, but I can respect what he's doing with his people. When he gets his head out of his fuckin' ass, that is.

He's told me all about the shit he's done. How he's saved people. How he's lost people. His fuckups and triumphs. He's made mistakes that cost lives. But he also ripped some motherfucker's throat out with his teeth to save his kid. Which is equally fucked up and badass.

But he's on the right path now working with me. He sees that. He's on board with the whole working together shit. And honestly, I think I'm on the right fuckin' path working with him.

When I started this shit, it was all about amassing resources. Going out and scavenging everything important before anyone else did, so I could feed my people and keep them safe. It was all about my fuckin' people. The first group that attacked my men, I was honestly two seconds from fuckin' killing them all outright. Then I thought, "Why not use them? Use the shit outta them for thinking they could fuck with me. Take what shit they got and get them to find me more." So that's what I did.

Then I did it again when another group thought they were tough shit and stepped to me. And again after that cuz people are fuckin' dumb as shit and fuckin' shitty at risk assessment, apparently.

Even with Hilltop, the plan was always for me to control them. Not in the same fuckin' way as the others, but I would use their resources all the same. And I really thought I'd have to be more hands-on there like I am at The Sanctuary, but I'm not. Jesus is a perfect fuckin' governor for me. Loyal enough to me that he runs that shit the way I would. Loyal enough to his people that he'll keep them living well. It's really all a win/win.

This shit with Alexandria is different. I don't have a hand in shit there at all, which normally would bother the fuck outta me. I know I'm a fuckin' control freak. But I guess I've fuckin' changed. Cuz I realize now that my influence doesn't have to be by the fuckin' sword, as it were. I can find likeminded fuckin' groups, like Alexandria, and work with them to make this shitty world a little better. Which, in the end, is good for every-fuckin'-one.

Alexandria has been working their asses off for me, doing shit that would be fuckin' difficult for me to do on my own. And I've been giving them fuckin' food so they don't starve to fuckin' death. But me giving them shit is temporary. It always was. After they start getting enough of their own food, we'll renegotiate. But we're still in this shit together. Again, win/win.

Fuckin' finally, the Alexandrians pull in with a car and a pickup truck with a cab on the bed. Rick, Daryl, Aaron, Glenn and some fucker I remember seeing before but haven't been properly introduced to yet get out. Aaron comes right up to me and gives me a hug like I'm family. I guess I am.

"How's it fuckin' been?" I ask Aaron and pull away to talk to him.

"Pretty good," Aaron answers. "Chuck alright?"

"She's fuckin' fine."

"I brought her a little birthday present since I missed her actual birthday."