Embarrassment - (An Everlark Fanfic)

Chapter 25 - Hazy Days*

"Elinor," cried Marianne, "is this fair? is this just? are my ideas so scanty?

But I see what you mean. I have been too much at my ease, too happy, too frank.

I have erred against every common-place notion of decorum;

I have been open and sincere where I ought to have been reserved, spiritless, dull, and deceitful:

had I talked only of the weather and the roads, and had I spoken only once in ten minutes, this reproach would have been spared."

- Jane Austen (Sense and Sensibility)

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Katniss' POV:

I wake in a distant haze. It seems like all I do these days is wake up. I am enlightened every day. This holiday was for me to relax, not learn about myself. Alas I am still not allowed to see my dear Primrose therefore, I do not have any information of the situation especially about Gale and Peeta. I have this horrible, gut-wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach that I am not able to shake. It is as if its telling me something is wrong and that I should prepare for the worst. Non surprisingly, it is probably because I saw Peeta get shot.

That horrid memory alone brings tears to my eyes.

Amidst my sulking a nurse finds me in this state. I still feel it is not going to be okay even though she is trying to persuade me otherwise. I can tell, I can feel it in the way my muscles ache when I think about it. My head also pounds when I see the blood seeping through my bandages. It will not be okay, nothing with ever be the same.

I just want my chaotic life to rewind to weeks ago where I am home with my family. I wish I had never come to this holiday. 

Yet, I cannot say that. I did in fact meet Peeta again but was it all worth it? 

Was it worth my best friend, my sister and my own life? Not that my own life matters much, knowing that I put them in strain amidst my heartbroken state. The nurse continue to console me, wrapping her bulky arms over my frame and slowly rocking me into a state of between awake and asleep.

It is short lived. 

Another nurse on duty yet in a different uniformed stumbles into my suite in a fuss. I pretend to sleep, I do not want that disgusting medicine in my veins. Both nurses shake me violently awake, I flutter my eyes open ever so slowly only to be met with crazed azure blue ones.

"They have come Katniss!"

The woman does not have to speak anymore for me to know exactly what she is alluding to. They are here! It must mean they are alive! Oh praise the heavens. My tensed muscles relax ever so slightly yet, that gut wrenching feeling does not falter. It remains residing within me.

"H.....Ho.....How are they?" I ask in awe.

~~~~~

The next thing is what I definitely expected. The nurses face fell and an unbelievable look of sorrow takes over her features. Somethings not right and by the look on her face I know my suspicions are correct. The nurse looks down at her hands and back up at my face before she speaks.

"Not very good Katniss."

"What do you mean?!" I demand in a stressful tone.

"There's a strong chance they are not going to make it alive."