Trying

Eighth Visit

[This isn't edited what so ever, I'm having problems with my computer keyboard and I refuse to update on my phone. Enjoy the errors.]

He asked to come over some day last week (forgot what day) at 1pm out of no where. I wasn't at home I was out shopping and without thinking said yes to his request. His response, "I'll be there ASAP." I was thirty minutes away from home and had to book it there before he showed up, when he wasn't there I quickly showered, dressed and put on eyebrows. He was taking he bus and the one he takes can be a pain to catch so I decided to meet him at the stop since he still wasn't at the house.

First impression, he was wearing snake skin boots, like the cowboys in movies... he's a dork but he was glad to talk about them once I pointed them out. He seemed alright, more talkative this time, more open. The last visit seemed to put us both in the right place with each other. It wasn't as touchy or lovey like last time which I was fine with. I was dealing with my monthly bleed at the time so I was content playing video games together. Well things took a turn for the worse a few hours in. Since we were playing a game we were sitting for a long while, and I didn't notice I had bleed right through my pants... I went to stand up.

The rest is easy to figure out. He didn't over react but I could tell he was very uncomfortable, my face was probably as red as the seat at that moment to be honest. He was nice about it and for some reason rubbed my head for comfort I guess, I cleaned up and collected myself but the rest of the night was met with more silence than talking between us. The next day I took him home and then failed my drivers test the same day, broke down for a few hours, messaged some people and was fine after. Normally I would let it dwell but he and my period were making my emotions actually cooperate for once and I was fine.

I was a mess to say the least but I've invited him over some time this week and he's already said yes so I didn't mess up too bad. I'd rather just not think about it, maybe it will be something to laugh about together in the future. I also don't have to wait months to see him, it's only going to be about two weeks since the last time and I'm very excited. I'm slowly learning to keep my hopes down and this will be a good time to do it. I want to be more happy with things I didn't expect than getting stressed over the change and difference... I don't know why I'm trying to make this into an inspirational update.

I'll stop now, wish us luck.